Overextending

So, here's a list of what I'm doing lately:
1.  Asst leader for the girl scout troop
2.  U-8 soccer coach
3.  Den leader (moving into the position of pack leader) for the cub scout pack.
4.  Sunday school teacher for 8th and 9th graders.
5.  YMCA board of directors
6.  Seneca soccer board of directors

Did I mention full time doctor, mother, and wife? 

I had a bit of a breakdown last night and told Phil that it was too much.  I believe that I have overextended (again).  I know what I have to do, and I'm going to do it - the problem is figuring out where to cut back.  Ultimately, I do these extra-curricular activities so that I can spend time with the kids or give the kids better opportunities.  I guess where I need to thin out is those things that take time away from the kids rather than allowing me to spend time with them.
When you work full time, you feel guilty for every minute not spent with the children when you're not working.  At least I do.  I feel like my time is limited with them as it is, and the last thing I want to do is spend more time away.  Much of my "home" time, as it is, is spent paying bills, balancing the checkbook, straightening the house, mowing the lawn, and trying to keep everything in order. 

So, this all gets to my bigger point.  I've been really bad on the medifast lately.  I've been doing great during the day, but having wine at night- which leads to cheese, crackers, popcorn, etc.  I also have been so stressed that I'm too tired at night to do any sort of activity.  I keep saying that when I change my hours in June, it's going to get better, but I realized that the knowledge of more home time made me less likely to say no to people who were asking.  So, now I've got myself overextended, and it's not good for my health.

I decided this week to stop.  I have gotten back full swing on medifast.  I made another incredible meal last night - spaghetti squash covered with ground beef and some sweet peppers in tomato base that a patient had made for us.  I souped it up with a little basil and lots of garlic - mixed it together.  It was wonderful!  Monday, we slow cooked a pig leg with Mexican seasoning.  We ate it with spinach and some (a little) mustard bbq sauce.  I am trying to work in a walk during the day sometime - whether it's at lunch or right after work.  It didn't happen Tuesday, but it did today.  I'm also trying to not drink wine at night for a while until I get my diet and my stress back on track. 

I have made some decisions about cutting back as well.  The only one that I've told is the church.  I don't enjoy teaching Sunday School, and I am not spending time with my kids during that time, so it is not something I want to do.  I could use that time to go grocery shopping while my kids are in class, so that I don't have to do it when I could be spending time with them.  (I could take them with me, and often do, but that usually decompensates into badness - "No, no, no, no, OMG, I'm going to strangle you, no, no, no...")  I really need to concentrate on my health so that I can be there for everyone who is depending on me, and this is my first step.

I have lost 30 lbs, but still need to lose 30 more, and I need to get my head on straight to do that.

For those of you that are wondering where Phil is during all of this, he's here.  He's great at doing anything I ask of him, but he's busy too.  He works more hours "doctoring" than I do.  He also works on the farm, helps with the house, helps with the kids, coaches soccer, and coaches wrestling.  I can't say anything negative about him - he's great! 

I'm not putting this out there to whine.  I'm putting this out there because I know a lot of women are trying to balance home, work, health, and weight loss, too.  We're all doing the same thing and trying to slog through it.  It's freaking hard, and even though my job is to teach people how to do this, I fail, too.  I make bad decisions and I allow my life to get the better of me.  BUT, I'm also here to say that it doesn't have to be like that.  I am going to make the changes I need to over and over again if that is what it takes.  I am looking forward to getting some newer, sexier clothes when I lose my weight.  I'm also looking forward to having nicer legs (from exercise) and more energy. 

I hope that it is helpful for some people to read about my struggles with health, overextension, weight, and life.  It certainly helps me to write about it! :-)

Dr. Mindy