recipes

Well,
First off, I want to say, wow!  Thank you to everyone who posted comments on facebook and here, and thank you to those who sent me messages privately.   Depression is incredibly pervasive in our society and I'm glad that this blog gave some people the springboard to discuss it.  Hopefully this will help someone.  If it's not helping you, maybe it will help you to understand someone you love a little better.

Anyhow, I've gotten some requests for recipes that I've been making, so I thought I'd put a few on the blog today. 

I'm feeling better - coming out of my fog a little- and my creative juices are flowing again!  Tonight, I made grouper with Thai green curry, mushrooms, and ramps.  For those of you that are not from WV, ramps are a native wild onion.  They taste wonderful, but smell SOOO bad.  Kids sometimes get sent home from school after eating them because the gas can clean the room.  Why do we eat them?  I guess because we can!  They are remarkably mild and tasty. 
To make this, I took three fillets of frozen grouper out.  I sauteed the ramps and mushrooms in 1 tablespoon of lemon infused olive oil in an oven ready everyday pan.  Then, I added light coconut milk (1/2 can) and some Thai green curry paste (you can get both of these ingredients in the Asian section of your local grocery store).  I put the frozen fish fillets in the mixture and put the pan in the oven at 400 degrees for 24 minutes.  If you are lean and green, serve with a large green salad.  If not, serve over 1/2 cup of brown rice and a side of greens (spinach would complement this nicely).

Next, I've had a request for my taco salad recipe.  It's embarrassingly simple.  I use ground meat (whatever I have lying around - it's best with goat, by the way).  One pound and mix it with low sodium taco seasoning.  Cook the meat, drain it (if it needs drained), and set it aside.  Then, I layer romaine lettuce, fresh cilantro, tomatoes, and 1/2 of a chopped avocado (optional - not part of lean and green, but very creamy and makes you forget that there's no cheese).  I add the meat and dress with pickled jalapenos and salsa.  REALLY freakin good!

The next one is the kimchi seafood soup.  Also, painfully simple.  I got mixed random seafood (paella mix) from Sam's.  The stock is made with clam juice (available at any grocery store) (3-4 jars) plus a little chicken broth (can do all clam juice, but it's kind of expensive.  I stretch it with the chicken broth).   Then, add a little bit of ginger - I like the stuff in tubes from Kroger - easier.  Probably about 2-3 tablespoons.  Then, add some fish sauce (1 tablespoon)  (This you'll have to get from an Asian grocery, and you can use soy sauce if you had to.)  Chop up one whole head of napa cabbage or 2-3 small heads of bok choy.  Add two small jars of kimchi or more, depending on how spicy you want it.  Once the cabbage cooks down, add the seafood (about 1/2 of the big bag from Sam's) and simmer until the seafood isn't frozen anymore.  It's an easy end of a long day soup and it's really filling and satisfying.  If you're not doing lean and green, you could add some buckwheat noodles to it (soba) - That would be GREAT!!! 

I like to make shrimp salads a lot, too.  I cook the shrimp in old bay and beer, peel it, then put it on salad with some sort of fresh veggies like green beans, radishes, etc, then dress with some lemon olive oil and fig balsamic.  You can do the same thing with pre cooked chicken breast just for a quickie dinner.

The other things I'm planning on trying is spaghetti squash with meatballs.  I bought some turkey meatballs.  You cut the spaghetti squash in half lengthwise, brush with olive oil and bake in the oven for 30 minutes at 350.  You don't want to overcook, so keep an eye on it.  Take it out, let it cool a little, then scrape the inside out in strands.  It has the texture of spaghetti, so you can use it like that.  Then, get some spaghetti sauce and simmer the meatballs in it and serve it over the pasta.  Sounds good to me.  We'll see.

Also, I am going to take the precooked chicken chunks (Tyson's or Schwans), bake them in the oven, then cover with wing sauce and serve over a salad with lots of celery and some spray blue cheese dressing.  Deconstructed hot wings!  :-)

That's all I can think of right now.  I'm glad to be feeling better.  Couldn't have happened at a better time as my whole family is sick right now.  I get to be the caretaker, and I'm not sure I could have last week. 

Enjoy the week!
Dr. Mindy

Depression....

This has been a long week.

For those of you who don't know, I struggle with depression.  It has really gotten the best of me this week.  I think it's been coming for some time, but this week was a culmination of a few weeks of niggling episodes. 

Many people think that depression is a state of mind.  I disagree.  If it was, I'd never be depressed.  I have a job that I actually like, I own a business, I have two great kids and a husband to die for.  I live on a gorgeous farm, I have an amazing, supportive, extended family.  I have sincerely wonderful friends and tons of rewarding activities in my life.  Believe me, I don't have a THING to be depressed about.  This is the reason that I firmly believe that depression is a biochemical process not unlike hypertension, diabetes, or other medical issues.

Certainly, it does seem that my depression is worse when weather changes, or when I stop exercising, or when my diet gets bad again.  The latter, though, I haven't quite figured out if they are a symptom or a cause. 

When I'm in a depressed state, I have much shorter patience.  I know that this affects my family, and that absolutely kills me.  Of course, that makes me feel worse, and then things will spiral out of control.  Often, I end up sleeping a lot more, or reading a lot more - anything to close myself off from everyone.  It's all I can do to go to work and try to help others with their myriad of medical and psychiatric issues.  When I'm in my episodes, I just can't do much more when I get home.

It's during these times that my various activities tend to fall apart as well.  I forget to plan or plan  for meetings, classes, practices - or I forget them altogether.  I forget to pay bills, and my checking account goes haywire.  I don't straighten up the house.  I forget to help the kids with homework, and I don't read or sing to them at night because I'm usually in bed before they are.   I feel like I can't see colors during these times.  Everything is varying shades of gray.  I don't realize that I'm seeing like that until I finally "snap out of it."  It's become so common that now when I think something looks really beautiful and colorful, I automatically think to myself, "Hmm...have I been depressed?"  I usually don't know when it's really bad. 

This is not a new problem for me.  Anxiety and depression are closely linked.  Both relate to low levels of serotonin, melatonin, and norepinepherine in the brain.   I distinctly remember being 4-5 years old and not being able to sleep at night because I was afraid the Russians were going to attack us.  My mother wouldn't let me watch the news or the movie, The Day After, because she new I wouldn't be able to sleep.  I watched a show about Nostradamus in high school, and afterwards had the first real "panic attack" that I can recall.  We didn't know at the time what it was, and I was often treated for asthma.  I was in the shower, and all of a sudden couldn't breathe.  I went to my parent's room and turned on their ceiling fan, laid on the bed gasping for air and trying to calm down.   It was the first of many of those attacks.  Funny, they would give me prednisone.  Um, that didn't help. 

As I've aged, the anxiety continues, but it is under much better control with medication.  Still, I have moments when Phil is late from work, or the kids haven't called when they were supposed to, that I go into full panic mode.  I can't think, "Oh, he's just running late."  Instead, my mind makes up scenarios that are so abhorrent that I can't even blog about them.  By the time he gets home, I'm screaming at him for not calling - not because I really care if he called or not, but because I've spent the last 20 minutes convinced he's dead in a ditch from a gunshot wound from a deranged ex-patient.  Really.  Over the years, Phil has come to understand this about me and does not often let me go very long without knowing that he's OK.  It makes he love him all the more that he accepts that about me and goes to lengths to make sure that I don't get too worked up.

My kids, though, also suffer through all of this.  Emma and I have had very frank discussions about my depression.  I try not to blame any of my actions on it.  I've told Emma time and time again that everyone has something, and it's no excuse for anything.  We all have the ability to rise above our "somethings" and make better people of ourselves.  I've explained to her that although I try to keep it all in check, sometimes it gets the better of me, and I just have to work through it.  She seems to understand.  Unfortunately, for her, it seems to have travelled down our family tree right into her lap as well.  I think she understands because she deals with it as well.

Emma is 10, and she, also, has been unable to sleep since she was about 6 because of  "bad thoughts".  Her fingernails are bitten to the quick, and she twitches a lot.  She has pretty wild mood swings, too.  People tell me it's because she's a girl, and that's true to an extent, but it's more than that.  She cries sometimes or gets really angry, and she can't figure out why.   Also, unfortunately for Emma, she has to contend with major blood sugar swings as well as hormones and genetics.  It's gonna be a long 10 years for all of us, I think. :-)

Lee is such a happy - go - lucky kid, that he really doesn't seem to be much affected by all of this.  He just continues to go on smiling.  I'm not sure where he gets his persona from.  Phil is more reserved, and also struggles with depression somewhat, so the happy kid that Lee is is just a blessing, I guess!  He does get pretty angry when he gets angry, but that's not very often. 

I take my 5,000 units of vitamin D, my PMS vitamins, my Effexor, and a slew of other supplements on a daily basis.  I try to rely on my husband and my amazing children to see me through these episodes.  I pray sometimes about it.  I've tried counseling, but it's very difficult for a medical professional to see another medical professional, and as I've said, I don't really have any issues to discuss that I know of - just a chemical imbalance.  I do what I can to pull myself out of it so that my family doesn't have to deal with me like that for any longer than needed.  So, if you know me, and you come across me sometime either as your doctor or as your friend, and I'm not putting myself out there for you like I normally do, don't take it personally.  Remember, even doctors have something.   My something is depression and sometimes it gets the best of me.  Most of the time, I'm just happy Mindy.  I guess we can all live with that.

Dr. Mindy

The woes of dieting

Cheating is such a slippery slope.  I don't mean on your spouse, although it's probably the same idea.  Just a little somethin/somethin here, then a little more there, then a "well, just this once with the BIG thing" and I'll be faithful, I SWEAR!!!

Phil and I had the big cheat (again, not on each other) a couple of weeks ago at Madeline's.  (My stomach growls and my mouth becomes drenched in saliva just saying the name.)  We really had a great time, but I have had a helluva time getting back to strict dieting.

This same thing happened to us with P90X.  Yes, Phil and I were once "Bringing it" together.  (Now, seriously folks, enough with the innuendos...)  Unfortunately, on week number 4 or 5, Phil had a shaving accident.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you heard me right.  A very good friend around here makes the most incredible goats milk products.   For Phil's birthday, she made him goats milk shaving cream - the hard stuff that you need a brush to lather.  She makes the stuff then lets it set in various cups, bowls, etc.  The one that Phil had was in a very spartan coffee cup.  He used it all the time.  Phil, though, shaves in the shower.  One fateful morning, he accidentally dropped said cup and it shattered and actually severed a tendon in his foot.  Once it was over, it was kind of funny.  Well, at least I laughed...

Bottom line, we had to stop P90X for several months while he healed.  When he was finally able to get back on track, we discussed going back on P90X, but, unfortunately, we were not going into it with blinders on as we did when we first started.  Instead, we knew full well what kind of torture we were in for, and, well, we just couldn't bring ourselves to do it.  It's just so much easier to face the evil that you don't know in those situations.  When we started P90X, we were thinking, "Now, this can't be THAT bad - it's a video for gawdsakes."  Once we got started, our doctor's pride (stupidity?) got in the way so we HAD to finish.  When we had to restart, though, we were able to just say things like, "Oh, why not sleep in today?"  Or, "Emma is so comfortable in the bed, we REALLY shouldn't disturb her."  So, now I sit here on my recumbent bike, calmly typing away as I peddle - quite a step down from P90X.  That being said, 2 months ago, I would have been polishing off a bottle of wine on the couch, so I guess I'm somewhere in between.

Going back to cheating on the diet...

So, we had this great meal, and being a consummate foodie, I haven't thought about much else since.  For a while, we were preparing spectacular Lean and Green meals, and this offset the sting of the foodie cravings a little, but we've been too busy lately to do much of that.   I think we need to get back to that and I'd feel a lot better.  The illness and menstruation didn't help much either.  I truly believe that I needed a few more calories during that time, but I did it in stupid ways.  I should have increased some of my protein and veered clear of increasing carbs.  Live and learn.

As for cooking more fabulous meals, I'm really trying.  Soccer season is starting and Phil and I are both coaching.  Of course, I'm still a den leader in scouts as well.  Plus, Phil has a lot of hospital weeks in the next couple of months due to some vacations.  We've got stuff going on every night of the week.  I hope I can figure out some amazing, really fast food.  I'm thinking deconstructed taco salads, roasted chicken chunks in wing sauce, turkey burgers on lettuce, and maybe some ground goat curry in the next few days.  I should be able to do that.  I'm always trying, and I fall as much as the next guy, I just need to get myself back up.  That's why I'm on the bike, not in the wine!

I don't know if it's because I'm neurotic, or because I'm a doctor, or if everyone feels this way, but I really feel a lot of pressure to do well in this.  After all, I am selling the product.  I'm also trying to get people to change their eating habits and lives for the better with or without medifast.  I feel like if I stumble and fall than that will give the people that I'm trying to help incentive to stumble and fall as well.  Like, "Well, Dr. Mindy went out and went off the diet, so I can too!"  It's a difficult paradigm because on one hand, I want to be honest for the people that are struggling, and on the other hand, I am really struggling too.  I think it's a typical mommy thing.  Be strong for everyone else, and melt down in private. 

I guess the bottom line that I need to emphasize, though, is how damn difficult it is to get back on track once you've jumped it.  Like I said, a little here, a little there,  it adds up.  And, I haven't lost a pound in 2 weeks because of my indiscretions.  The plan estimates 2-5 lbs a week weight loss, and I'm not achieving it because I'm slipping.  So, I guess, do as I say not as I do.  (Yet another mommy-ism :-) )

(Oh, and I feel I have to mention for those who are interested, that right now my but feels like pop corn.  I'm getting all kinds of minuscule spasms from my stint on the bike.  Just thought I'd share.)

Tonight's dinner, by the way, was pretty awesome!  A patient brought us some trout fillets that he caught Friday.  Phil smoked them lightly yesterday with just a little lemon pepper.  I put them on a salad with lemon olive oil tonight and it ROCKED!

Oddly, when writing this blog, I got pinged by a friend/patient who just started on medifast.  She said, "Woohoo!!! I am loving this diet - lost 10 lbs!"  It's probably water weight, but what do I care?  I feel GOOD!!!  Love you, Dr. Mindy!" 

It's all good.  You've got to love hearing that!

I hope that no one gets upset and calls me out because I'm complaining about the woes of dieting in the midst of bombing Libya and such.  i try to focus on my daily tasks at hand.  I'm much too neurotic to focus on much else.  Obviously, those people just don't know how to set priorities...duh! 
(JUST KIDDING PEOPLE!!!)

Dr. Mindy

Bringing up the rear

Today has been a wonderful day. 
 
Last night was pretty horrible.  Of course, that was a night I chose not to drink wine!  Wouldn't you figure?  Emma was playing her dsi when we asked her to cover her dinner.  She typed in her meal coverage and went on playing.  Luckily, she had her continuous glucose monitor on.  She had finally agreed to wear it due to the significant excursions she has been having with her sugars lately.  So, when we went to bed, she was 390 or something like that, but she had 2 arrows going down meaning that she was falling pretty rapidly.  OK, I expected that because she had covered her dinner.  5 minutes later, she was alarming because her fall rate was too rapid.  I looked at her sugar, and it was 190.  10 minutes later, she was drenched in sweat, twitchy, and dropped to 80.  In the meantime, I had given her 3 juices, 2 cookies, 2 tablespoons of peanut butter, and 2 teaspoons of pure sugar.  She felt like she was going to vomit (duh), but we had to keep feeding her.  Good news - the whole thing only lasted about 30 minutes.  Bad news - it always seems to last 6!  So, she finally got her sugar under control and drifted off to sleep.  Of course, this was after we had some VERY strong words with her about responsibility for her sugars and NOT playing her dsi when calculating her insulin dose.   Phil and I were so wired that we stayed up another 2 hours watching her for any twitches.  I have to say, THANK GOD for CGMs!!!!  I have no doubt that last night would have been a full fledged seizure if her CGM hadn't alerted us to her fall rate.  If you know anyone with a pump whose sugars are a little crazy, PLEASE tell them to get one of those things.   All's well that ends well, but I felt like I was due for a nice day.

But, today was a good day.  I'm finally feeling better after a week of some weird virus.  I had a nice day in clinic today because I got to do my bioidentical hormone replacement.  I got my (ever so irritating) soccer practice time moved to Mondays instead of Friday evenings.  My dad is sick, but not sick enough to be in the hospital.  AND, Phil and I get to go out and see a band at a local restaurant/bar tonight with some friends.  The weather is wonderful.  Birds are chirping, it's 70 degrees, and the sun is out.  I drove around today with my top down and my hair blowing in the wind with my ipod blaring everything from Taylor Swift to Nine Inch Nails..Psychedelic Furs to Rage against the Machine.  It was a blast!  When I got home, we decided to go for a bike ride with our little bug, Leejay.  (Emma is en route to Seven Springs to go play with the ski bunnies this weekend).  

Now, I haven't been on a bike for about two years.  Phil wanted to go biking on the farm, but I was a little dubious.  We settled on going to the neighborhood next to our farm and riding on the paved roads there.  Lee was doing great - pumping his little six year old legs up the hills better than my thirty-something legs were doing.  It was a wonderful, relaxing afternoon.

"So," you are wondering, "why the title of the blog?"

 All my life, I've been an overachiever.  Those of you who know me can attest to this.  I've never wanted to do anything that I'm not going to be good at.  It's a fatal flaw and it has kept me from trying new things.  I strive to be the best and to always be at the front of the pack. ( My poor daughter has inherited this trait from me, and I'm working really hard with her to help her overcome it.  Seems to be working a little bit - she's skiing after all!  )

So, today, here I was riding a bike for the first time in a long while and feeling somewhat nervous about it.  Going up one hill, I fell behind my boys and ended up watching them going up the slope.  Lee was starting to give up (he, unfortunately, did not inherit that tenacity from me that Emma did :-) ), and I saw Phil say some encouraging words to him.  He doubled his efforts and ended up making it up the slope.  I was grinning from ear to ear watching my boys biking together with a gentle breeze blowing through my hair and the sun shining on us all.  For the first time in my life, I was glad to be bringing up the rear!  I'll be last in line in everything if it means being able to watch interchanges like that!

Never fear, I'll always remain an overachiever!  But, given the stress we have with Emma's sugars on a day to day basis combined with daily life, work, farming, etc....it was nice to finally just take the back seat and enjoy watching my family enjoy each other.  Can't wait for Emma to get home so we can let her in on the fun!

Dr. Mindy

diabetes and parenting

Ugh.  I feel really yucky today.  I have some sort of virus that has made me feel nauseated.  No vomiting, nothing so bad as to not go to work, but just REALLY fatigued and mildly nauseous.  It started Sunday, and I haven't been able to recover.  Maybe it was the chicken shit exposure???  Maybe not. 

Honestly, I was beginning to become afraid that I was starting to get sick again.   I feel like I did when I was really sick except that my brain fog isn't there.  I told Phil last night that I don't think I could handle feeling like that again EVER in my life.   I spoke with a friend today, though, that is feeling the same way, as is her husband, as is one of my nurses, so I guess it's just viral.

Anyhow, Emma's been a little under the weather, too.  She has been running pretty high - high enough that I kept her home yesterday to keep an eye on her ketones and manage her a little more carefully.  So, she's been feeling under the weather, as have I, and her sugars are crazy, so she is and I am a little emotional.  At about 9:30 last night, she was having trouble sleeping, so she got out of bed to go to the bathroom, and her pump fell out of the pump pack and ripped out of her skin.  I told her, "No problem, just go get your changing kit and change it."  She went downstairs and got it, then came upstairs to change. Mind you, she had just changed twice in two days because her sugars have been so high. 

(Let me take a minute here to fill those of you who don't know what I'm talking about in on what my daughter has been doing by herself since she was 7.  She fills a vial with insulin, puts it in the pump, programs the pump to give it, and then injects the pump site into her skin, withdraws the needle, and leaves the cannula in her skin.  The needle is 6mm long.  She does it all herself.  She's amazing.  She also checks her sugar about 7-8 times a day.  There's another thing that she does on her own that is worse.  She puts her sensor in.  The needle for the sensor is about 1.2 inches long and a bigger caliber than the pump needle.  It hurts.  BAD.  The sensor checks her sugar every couple of seconds and gives us a real time reading.  It's great, but it falls out a lot, beeps ALL the time, and is very painful to insert and wear.   We don't use it all the time, just when her control goes crazy or when she's staying with other people.  I have a 25 year old patient who won't use his sensor because "It hurts too much".  Puss.)

So anyhow, Emma got her pump changing stuff and came back upstairs.  When she went to change it, the needle was bent.  So, I said, "OK, go back downstarirs and get another set."  She did.  She changed her pump, then she came back in my room and started to just BAWL.  She said, "Mommy, I HATE being diabetic.  It's just not fair!"  She's right.  It sucks.  She handles it well 99.9 percent of the time, and has even said that she doesn't know what she'd do if there was a cure, because she defines herself as "Emma, the kid with diabetes."  But sometimes, the frustration just gets the better of her.

Emma is a tween.  She is starting to get stinky and some hair and some boobage.  (oh, gawd, she'd be so mad if she knew I was writing this.)  She doesn't like to wear her sensor at school because when it beeps, the other kids notice and tell her to check her sugar.  She KNOWS she feels better when she wears it, but she doesn't like the fact that it calls more attention to her than she wants.  She has taken to not checking her sugar as often as she should because she doesn't like the attention that it draws.  I think she also has "diabetes burnout" - very common in kids that have had it for a long time.  She doesn't check because she just wants it to go away.   Emma is intelligent and she has a better handle on this than most kids her age.  She just gets frustrated sometimes.  So do I. 

I held her for an hour last night and let her cry.  I told her that it's OK to sometimes feel sorry for herself.  I told her that I don't feel sorry for her, but that's not a bad thing.  I told her that I feel sorry for people that aren't strong enough to handle the disease.   I also feel sorry for people who have diseases that can't be treated, but I don't feel sorry for her.  I said that I am sorry that she has diabetes, though, and that if I could take it away, I would.  I told her that she's strong, brave, beautiful, funny, smart, and not defined by her disease.  She cried for a long time and finally fell asleep.  It took me much longer.   I'm crying now as I write this becuase seeing my child hurt is near impossible for me.

On the flip side of all this is my son.  He's a vibrant, VERY active 6 year old.  He's aware of Emma's disease and is becoming more cognizant of what it could mean for her.  He knows that she can have seizures and that she could end up in the hospital.  He's also acutely aware of the attention that she gets. 

I had friends as a child that were twins.  The brother had leukemia as a child.  He got LOTS of attention because of it.  Justly so.  She did not.  She often felt left behind, left out, forgotten.  She used to complain to me that she could just disappear and her parents wouldn't know.  As an adult, she has become an alcoholic and has, in effect, gotten lost.  She lives on the streets and her mother is constantly finding her, trying to help, and losing her again.  If that's not a lesson, I don't know what is.  It's probably extreme, but it's there, nonetheless.

Last night, Lee wasn't feeling well.  He asked if he could sleep with us.  We let him, and he fell asleep.  When he woke up this morning, I was sleeping with Emma in her bed.  He was hurt because I was supposed to sleep with him.  It's not like he was being selfish.  Unfortunately, this happens a lot to him.  We tell the kids that they have to sleep in their own beds, but then Emma's sugar drops and she ends up in bed with us because we're worried she's going to have a seizure. (She has on multiple occasions) When Lee wakes up, she's in bed with us, and he's hurt.  He understands, but he's only 6, and it hurts. 

On other occasions, we are planning to do something with Lee, but it gets usurped because something comes up with Emma's sugars and we have to leave or reschedule.  It's not fair to him, but I don't know how to fix it.  We plan "Lee time", and he likes that, but the day to day stuff is a little hard for him to deal with, I think.  Even dinner has to wait until Emma checks her sugars.  He's a good, loving kid, and he's even cried because he wishes Emma didn't have diabetes, but he still wishes that we could focus on him as much as we do on her.

I didn't have a "normal" kid first, so I don't know how much of this is first child, second child stuff.  I don't know what other parents with diabetic kids do.  I just know that I wish I could just make it better for both of the kids.  Neither of them deserve this and they both handle it so well.  I don't want people who read this to be like, "Aw, poor family."  It's not like that.  On a daily basis, this is just part of life and we all do VERY well with it.  Sometimes, it gets the best of us, though, and we melt down a little.  That's what today is.  I'm sick and I'm tired, and I just feel like blogging about some of it.

So, please, if you read this, don't feel "sorry".  Also, don't feel like we sit around all the time and wallow in sorrow.  As I tell Emma all the time, "Everyone has something."  We all just go through life and deal with what we are dealt, rejoicing in the good, and sometimes getting caught up in the bad.  If you do want to do something for Emma, though, please feel free to contact the JDRF.   (JDRF.org)  The ADA doesn't do any real research on type 1 DM.  JDRF focuses on juvenile diabetes.  Donate, volunteer, help us find a cure.

Thanks.
Dr. Mindy

True Love and Chicken Tractors

In case anyone was wondering, I really, really, really love my husband. 

Really.

Today started as a typical Saturday for us.  Of course, I was a little bit slow rising this morning because we had a little celebration last night with some great friends.  We have another great friend, who unfortunately lives in Colorado, who got some amazing news yesterday.  She was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer last year, and it was a very rare variety.  She, by the way, is amazing.  After diagnosis, she trained for and ran a marathon.  She is in great shape mentally and physically.  She had a PET scan this week and found out that her cancer had not grown.  They think she's in remission.  Truly amazing.  She told us to break the diet and drink to her good fortune.  So, we did!  We're all so very relieved.  We took a picture and posted it on facebook of us toasting her with some fine WV vodka!  Then, we had an amazing dinner prepared by our friends of macadamia encrusted baramundi (sp?) (an Australian fish), exquisite salad with fruit in it, and a vegetable medley that was out of this world.  And wine.  Thus the sluggishness this am.

So, anyhow, the day started like any other Saturday.  Phil made the kids pancakes.  I had my medifast shake and some coffee, then we all piled in the car to go to the office and pick up the cake my mom made for the school carnival today.  On the way to the office, we decided to stop by Sears and look at refrigerators.  Since we've been doing lean and green, we have found that we need more fridge space for fresh veggies.  I wanted to go to Lowe's to look as well, and Phil said, "Well, I need some stuff to make the chicken tractor, so that's cool."  Bum, bum, buuuumm.....

Well, we headed off to Lowe's and Phil got some wood.  The salesman there I think had smoked a few too many joints in his life, so we just got our wood and left.  When we got home, Phil went out to work on his chicken tractor.  After a couple of minutes, I went out to see what was up, and he was struggling with two pieces of wood while trying to screw them together.  So, a big sigh and a grin, and I said, "Do you need some help?"

Let me explain something.  I love my husband, and will do anything for him, but I HATE CHICKENS!!!!!!!!  I hate how they smell, how they feel, how they sound.  Particularly how they smell, though, ugh.  So, the thought of devoting one of my precious days off making a portable chicken house was not really appealing.  A chicken tractor, by the way, is just that.  It is a chicken house on wheels that can be moved from place to place on your farm so that the chickens can free range without being eaten by coyotes (as ours did when we tried to free range them).  Let me also explain that the last time I did a project that involved chicken wire, I swore that I would NEVER again do a project that involves chicken wire.  They might as well call it "gouge Mindy's skin into a bloody mess wire."  I hate chicken wire almost as much as I hate chickens.  Almost. 

We spent the day building the chicken tractor - just Phil and I - not speaking much to one another, mostly because I was cussing a lot because I was getting cut up by the chicken wire.  We had to be at the school carnival at 3:30 today, so we had a deadline for finishing the thing.  I must admit, with Phil and I working on the project, it went faster than expected.  It also required thinking from both of us to make it work.  We both see everything so differently, that when we came to an impasse with something, we were able to figure it out.  We used old wood from under our house for a lot of it, and we found this red lattice thing that used to be something else to use as a door.  It has a tarp on it to keep the chickens dry and it has a laying box in it that Phil, Emma, and Sofia (Emma's friend) are currently putting hay in. 

At 3:30, we finished hanging the door, and Phil wanted to just put a couple of chickens in to make sure that it's dog proof.  We have some dogs that we figured would test it out for us when we were gone.  I was trying to expedite matters, so I went to the chicken pen to help Emma catch chickens for the new tractor.  As I've mentioned, I hate chickens.  I also hate chicken pens.  It has been raining here all week.  So, I went in the pen in my crocs mammoths (OK, not so smart) and stepped ankle deep in muddy, stinky, sloppy chicken shit.  My crocs are ruined.  I almost puked.  I backed out of the pen (with my 10 year old trying really hard not to laugh), glared at my bemused husband, and said, "That's all the help you will be getting from me today, DEAR."  I'm glad they had a good laugh. 

I was able to get cleaned up and to the school carnival, albeit a little late.  The tractor has 4 chickens in it and they were not dog food when we got home.  Can't say I'm happy about that, but I guess it would have made me mad if all that work didn't actually work.  The chickens are fed, watered, and hayed.  Phil is not able to move much (he did all the nailing - he doesn't trust me with sharp objects unless it's chicken wire). Dinner is waiting to be made - jerk grouper and grilled endive.  Girl scout cookies are picked up, and I'm sitting down to write my blog with 3 extra kids in the house.

Just another day in paradise. 

And I really, really, really love my husband.

Really.

Dr. Mindy

I've gone and done it

Thanks to all of the support I've gleaned from my friends, I have made the decision to change the hours of my practice. 
Unfortunately, change is always difficult for me and Phil.  We shy away from it like slugs to salt.  We have been stressing continuously since I changed the calendars.

It's for the better of our family without a doubt, but we feel such a huge responsibility to our patients and our practice....

Of course, right now, I'm listening to Lee sing in the shower and Emma talking smack to the Wii, and I'm really glad we're going to have more time to spend with them.

I haven't written a blog for a while, mainly because I've been killing myself at work, and I'm so exhausted when I get home that I just don't feel like it.  I have a lot to say, but haven't had the energy to say it.

Speaking of lack of energy, I told Phil today that if it snows again, I'm going to have to kill myself.  (figuratively, don't go calling the cops).  I guess I'm not going to be here tomorrow, because they're calling for 8 inches tonight.  Of course, it WAS a man calling for 8 inches, so it'll probably be more like 4...
Anyhow, we, in the great state of WV are in the "OMG I'm so over it" state of mind.  We're all bitchy, argumentative, touchy, etc... - men and women alike.  March is a REALLY hard month.  We have had bad, cold, snowy weather since November, and we're done.  We get a couple of teasers in March when we can drive with the top down and coats on, and it just makes things worse.  Tuesday, it was beautiful and 58 degrees.  We had the top down, giggling along to Lee's favorite song, "Supersonic" by DJ Fad, and having a grand old time.   Today, it's 25 degrees and snowing.  The schizophrenic weather causes MAJOR issues in the general psyche of the community. 

My receptionist is experiencing her first March in medicine.  I sat her down today and had to discuss with her the very real difficulty of being in medicine this month.  I can remember even back to residency and what a horrible month this is.  Lots of people die.  Lots of people kill themselves.  Mostly, we all feel like crap and take it out on others.  Patients are MUCH more grumpy.  Doctors get more irritated with patients and probably say things we shouldn't.  Staff gets irritable.  It's just something we have to get through, but it's really hard for newbies.  I think if she makes it through March, she'll make it through most anything. 

Did I mention that I want to be a teacher?  It's probably not any better for teachers in March in this state, though.  I'd bet that the kids are just as grumpy and upset.

So, anyhow, my new schedule will start in June:  monday, tues, thurs, and fri from 8:30-2 with no lunch.  I'll do my paperwork from home when the kids are doing their homework.  We got a magic jack so that we can call from home without our number showing up on everyone's caller ID.  Wednesday, I'll still see patients till 5, and Phil will leave early.  This way the kids have at least one parent home every evening.  Hopefully this will give us more time to be parents, coaches, den leaders, etc... and do it well.

Wish us luck - especially with getting through March!!  And, thanks for the support in making this decision.  Actually, it really helped!

Dr. Mindy

back on the horse

Today is Sunday.  Day two after having cheated big on the medifast plan.  Do I regret it?  Not a chance, but MAN, has it been hard to get back on the horse.

All of us who diet know how hard it is to go down that path of, "Well, I already blew it, might as well blow it today again, and make it up tomorrow."  I was there yesterday.  It doesn't help that I've also got PMS - as I've said before, this is the thwarter of all diets.

The mass influx of carbs and fat that I've withheld from my body for some time did me very wrong.  I've got to spend a minute and tell you guys, somewhat graphically, the extent of the feeling bad after that marvelous dinner that we had.  Mind you, this is not a testament to the food.  It was perfectly prepared, and this is not a case of food poisoning, more like food toxicity of my own doing.

To begin with, we went back to the hotel room that night and Phil almost immediately fell asleep.  I stayed up long enough to write my blog (foodie's paradise), then I crawled into bed as well.  Phil ended up being awake most of the night because he had severe reflux (caused by the carbs that he ate).  I also had reflux, and kept waking myself up snoring.  In the morning, we realized what a toxic environment we were in due to the emissions that we had been expelling all night long.  Toxic.  No other word for it.  I had to put my face in a pillow that morning when Phil had his morning constitutional.  Yuck.  Let's just say that this was not conducive to a romantic morning. 

Next, my back was hurting pretty bad, so all the way home I was uncomfortable.  Why?  Not sure, probably my underlying sensitivity to gluten and brewer's yeast just overall made me fell yucky.  When we got home, I exercised for 1/2 hour to try to "make up" for the dinner, but I felt so darn bad that I then ended up spending the rest of the day on the couch. 

The other big issue was the cravings.  I haven't really had bad cravings since getting established on this diet.  In fact, I've commented to a few people that this is one of the reasons I really like medifast.  The cravings are minimal and usually only when I have PMS.  Yesterday was like doing day one of the diet all over again.  I was famished, exhausted, foggy headed, and craving cheeseburgers like nobody's business.  In the end, I gave in and had pizza and hot wings for dinner.  The slippery slope.....

I went to bed early and had another long night of reflux, nightmares (probably from the rosemary on the pizza), and room clearing emissions.  Phil fared better yesterday, but he's having a hard time today.  He's been a bit homicidal and wanting food all day long.  Again, just another side effect of our WONDERFUL Friday night meal.   Right this minute, he's in the basement throwing wood around and I'm staying out of his way.

This brings us up to me today.  I woke up this morning fully prepared for the yuckiness ahead, so it was a bit easier.  I've stuck with the diet today and even spent 40 minutes on the recumbent bike.  I am preparing dinner tonight for some friends who are on weight watchers, so I have made a scrumptious menu that fits within both of our lifestyles:
1.  appetizer of veggies and "point free" dip - take a jar of roasted red peppers (in brine, not oil), a block of low fat cream cheese (the recipe calls for fat free, but this has more carbs, and since both of the programs now are focusing on low carb, my guess is that WW would now support the LF, not the FF versions of things.), 1/2 container of LF sour cream, a handful of basil, and a tablespoon or so of garlic.  Put in food processor and blend for a while, then dip veggies in it.  It's SOOOO good and not an excursion from WW.  It's a little excursion from medifast, so I'll not partake too much in it.
2.  main course of tuna Oscar (tuna steaks seasoned with salt and lemon pepper, served rare (of course) topped with sauteed crab meat and a tablespoon of hollindaise sauce (1 point on WW per tablespoon) and asparagus spears.
3.  Side dish of spaghetti squash with basil and a small amount of garlic olive oil.
4.  For dessert, Phil and I will have medifast soft serve and probably offer our guests some chocolate (high quality dark chocolate satisfies the sweet tooth and is quite low in carbs and calories.  It also is rich, so you just need a little bit.)

We'll have some wine, probably, because it is my house, and then herbal tea with dessert.

I'm still feeling kind of run down and sluggish after this weekend, but I'm excited to be back on the program again.  I can't even express how hard it was to stare down the belly of limitation and agree to start it once again.  It helped that I tried on some clothes this weekend in sizes that I never thought I'd ever even consider again.  It's the results that keep me coming back.

On another note, I want to send kudos out to our great friend who is also going down this road with us.  He has stuck with the plan so faithfully that he makes me feel pretty small sometimes.  He went with his mother, and his brother and his family to his FAVORITE restaurant this weekend for his mom's birthday.  This restaurant is known for having some of the best Italian food in the region.  Their lasagna is stuff wars are fought over.  He went to the restaurant and ordered a bowl of minestrone and a grilled chicken salad.  The rest of the table ate pasta and dessert, and he stuck with the program.  He's an inspiration.  When we discussed this, he told me that he KNEW how hard it would be for him to get back on the horse, and he chose to not have that kind of issue when he got home.  I'm in awe, and I'm very proud of him.  Those of you that know him, pat him on the back.  Those that don't, just know I'm a better person for being his friend.  Hat's off to you, my friend!  (And, that capsacian is here for you - wherever you may want in. ;-)  )

So, here's to a lesson I learned as a young person from my best friend through grade and middle schools, Beth McFadin - get back on that horse now or you never will!!  If you're dieting and you fall off, don't go down the road of self destruction and self deception.  Just get back on and you'll be happy you did!

Dr. Mindy

Madeleines on date night - a foodie's paradise.

DON'T read this if you're really trying hard to stay on your diet!!!

OK, we cheated in a BIG way, but not as big as we used to, honestly, and I have to tell you guys about the BEST dining experience I've had in a really long time.

Phil and I decided to try to make up our date night since the last one we had ended up with Phil in the hotel bed with shaking chills and a fever of 102.  We farmed the kids off to willing victims, I mean friends, (thanks guys!) and headed to Morgantown. 

The evening started with a hitch, as we had wanted to get a shuttle or cab to high street so we could go clubbing afterwards, but the taxi never showed up, so we ended up late for our dinner reservations. 

No problem!  The hostess at Madeleine's on High Street was amazing.  She sat us with no issues and our waitress, Melissa, was very patient with us while we were kind of awed by the menu.  As you guys know, we've been medifasting for two months with only the very occasional diversions.  None have been whole hog diversions (excuse the pun), so we were kind of overwhelmed.  The menu was truly amazing, but as many foodies that read this blog know, often, the more flowery the description, the less likely the food is good.  Melissa was very informative, and led us to good decisions about our meals.  I was really leaning toward this huge pasta dish, but she told me (very astutely) that given that I'd been on a very limited diet for 2 months, the pasta dish might be too heavy and I wouldn't enjoy it as much as some of the other items on the menu.  Awesome.  I was impressed.

So, here goes...

Starters:
Phil ordered buttermilk battered fried oysters served with traditional tartar and cocktail sauce.  They were amazing, delicate, not greasy.  You could really taste the oyster.  So good, but NOTHING compared to what I ordered...
I had an organic (local grown) rabbit turine.  (sp?)  This is how it goes - bits of the rabbit meat are mixed with onions, peppers, celery, and some binding agents.  It's laid in a base of a gelled tomato base (sounds weird, but so good) then wrapped around a tenderloin of the rabbit and set.  It was served with marmalade-d shallots, a creamy sauce, and a salad of greens with white beans and bits of bacon.  The salad tasted like bean with bacon soup with greens in it.  Believe me - that's good.  I can't think of another dish that I've ever had that was that good.

For mid-course, Phil had broccoli cheese soup.  Sounds plebeian, right?  Not a chance.  He started with a bacon base and it only got better.  Most of us are used to thick, cheesy, goopy broccoli cheese soup.  Not that I dislike that, I'm a big fan of the goopy stuff, but this was exquisite.  It was light, flavorful, smoky goodness. 
I had a salad of mixed greens, herbed goat cheese, crispy fried onions, and truffle dressing.  OMG - so freakin good.  I can't even tell you.

For dinner, Phil ordered the 18 oz bone in rib eye with asparagus and mashed potatoes.  It was seasoned (gasp!) and cooked to perfection.  He didn't eat the potatoes, because instead, we ordered fresh cut fries with pumpkin aioli, smoked ketchup, and a mayonnaise dip.  I didn't know that smoked ketchup and pumpkin aioli would be a good combination, but I couldn't stop eating it.  It was smoky, tangy, and sweet, and the fries were perfectly cooked.

I got a potato and goat cheese roulade.  I know, no meat - WTF???  It was amazing.  It was thinly sliced potatoes wrapped around goat cheese, zucchini, artichoke hearts, arugula, and quinoa with a tangy tomato type sauce on the side.  It was heavenly.  I am not a huge fan of non meat dishes, but the waitress told me it was good and would sit better than the amazing looking pasta.  She was absolutely right. 

We were planning on going to BW3s for trivia afterwards, but by this time, we'd decided that we were not going to make it because we were starting to feel really full and sleepy.  When Melissa came by and told us the desserts, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.  My FAVORITE dessert in the world is a flourless chocolate tort (sp?).  I LOVE them.  I search them out.  Well, guess what?  That was the first dessert listed.  Honestly, I think it had a mocha sauce and home made whipped cream, but I'm not sure.  It was amazing!!  Honestly, the best I've ever had.  Dense, but not too dense.  Rich, but with a tiny bitterness to take the edge off.  The mocha sauce was divine.

Phil had crepes with lemon creme and chocolate sauce.  I don't know about those - I was lost in mine. 

Topped off with some excellent wine and decaf coffee - couldn't have been a better dinner if we'd planned it ourselves.

We were honored to have the chef, Brian Wallace, came out to make sure we enjoyed dinner.  He told us he'd trained at Fairmont State and then at the Greenbrier.  He was very personable and proud of his work.

If anyone is in Morgantown and looking for a place to eat - check it out - it's across the street from the Hotel Morgan on High Street.

As for the diet, tomorrow is another day.  We're starting back on medifast in the AM.  We're also planning to do some vigorous exercise tomorrow to try to make up for the meal tonight.  Everything has it's price, and that's the price we've got to pay for this meal.  Bring it on, I'll pay it over and over.  I told the chef and the waitress to look for us again - just not for a couple of months.  We can only do this once in a great while and still stick with our eating (and financial) program.  Hopefully, they'll remember the goofy couple who just about had a forgasm (food orgasm) in the front window of the restaurant!

As for the rest of our date, lets just say that we usually plan on the fact that we won't be able to do anything AFTER dinner, so we plan accordingly...  :-)

Have a great night, friends, and tune in Sunday for our lean and green rendition of tuna oscar ala Phil and Mindy.  We're having some friends over for dinner, and are planning this plus asparagus and green salad with fig balsamic for dinner.  Back to the program, but still living the foodie lifestyle!

Dr. Mindy

time management

Because of multiple meetings this week, and some scheduling snafus, I have been able to pick my kids up at school three of four days this week. 

I have been in a better mood this week than I've been in a LONG time.

Connection?

I called Phil this afternoon and told him that I want to change my schedule.  I'd really like to work 8:30-2:00 - through lunch - 6.5 hours of seeing patients daily - so that I can pick my kids up at school, help them with their homework, coach their teams, and be a den/pack leader in a more efficient and effective way.  I think that some people will have a hard time with that because they want to be able to come after school, though.  Maybe one day a week I could work later.  I don't know.  All I know is that being a mother is more important to me than just about anything, and I've been able to do it the way I think it should be done this week.  I have been so happy picking the kids up, working on homework, listening to them practice piano, making dinner... Oh, the dilemna.

I pride myself on being pretty good at time management.   Like most women, I can usually juggle many tasks at once.  Unfortunately, like juggling, if I get a little out of sync, the whole thing comes crashing down.  I know that last fall, I coached a soccer team, and we were very busy at the office.  I had a really hard time with getting to practice, and I was not as good at scheduling things as I'd like to be.  I don't want to do a bad job because it's the kid's experience that suffers, but I keep getting asked to do things.  People tell me to just say no, but that's easier said than done.  In fact, I have said no, and I've ended up with a team/troop/pack, anyways.  It happened this year with Sunday school.  I told them that I wouldn't do it anymore because I just don't have enough time to prepare and do a good job.  Plus, we go out of town a lot.  They kept calling and I said I'd sub if they needed someone and I was in town.  I showed up on the first day when they introduced everyone, and they said, "Oh, Mindy, these 8th and 9th graders don't have a teacher - would you be so kind..."  Pinned like a butterfly on a posterboard. 

I really enjoy the teaching, coaching thing, too, though, so it's not entirely altruistic.  I enjoy feeling like I'm making a difference in a kid's life.  I also very acutely realize that the time is not far off when my kids won't want me involved in what they do, so I'm trying to take advantage of it when I can.  I can't tell you how many times I've had widows, parents who've survived the death of a child, children who've survived the death of a parent, etc., who tell me, "live when you can - enjoy the ones you love when you can, becuase you never know if they'll be there tomorrow."  EVERY DAY I hear this, and eventually you take it to heart.

Yes, I could work more hours and make our business more profitable.  Yes, I could go work for someone else and make a lot more money.  Yes, I could concentrate on my bottom line every day.  But, what would I be sacrificing?  Maybe a whole lot more than I'm willing to.  

I'm not knocking people who are doing things differently, AT ALL.  I'm just saying, I don't think it's for me.  I need to be "mommy" more than I need to be business owner, doctor.  I hope that my patients will understand if I do change my hours a little bit.  If I work through lunch, I'll be working the same number of total hours, but getting out earlier.  I hope my staff understands, too, and agrees to stagger their lunches when and if I decide to do it. 

I'd be great if I could find an NP who wants to work part time...any takers out there???  I've been looking for some time.  I have enough volume for a FT mid level, but not enough space.  If you know anyone who is looking, send them my way.  Maybe we could alternate afternoons or something.   It's a great place to work as long as our computers are up and our phones are working.

A girl that I used to know and really look up to long ago recently contacted me via facebook.  She had gone to undergraduate and medical school.  When she was in FP residency, she realized that she just didn't like being a doctor, so she quit and went back to college.  Today she is a teacher.  She has lots of time with her kids because her hours and vacation are the same as theirs.  I must admit that I envy her decision.  I have wanted to go back to school and get trained as a Montessori instructor and maybe help to expand the Montessori here to include elementary school instead of just preschool.  Unfortunately, I'm in so much debt from med school and the business right now, that I'll be working until I'm 80 to pay it off - especially if I cut back some.  Ah, well, maybe when I'm old and gray...  Don't misunderstand, I usually like being a doctor quite a lot.  I get to educate on a different playing field, and that's very gratifying.  I just wish my hours gave me more kid time.

My job is a little better now, by the way, becuase, (wait for it)  we finally have computers, phones, and faxes all working AT THE SAME TIME!!!  I think someone might have to pinch me soon, or at least alert me when the 4 horsemen appear, because I think this is another sign of the apocolypse.

I think that's enough for tonight.  I have to go make my lean and green dinner.  I ordered some roasted chicken nuggets from Schwan's.  I intend to heat them up, then dip them in hot wing sauce.  We'll have a garden salad with lots of fresh veggies with it and some spray blue cheese flavored vinegarette to top it off.  Sounds good.  The kids will have the same but with ketchup and ranch and probably some cheeze its for carbs. 

Have a good one everyone, and give your kids a BIG hug!

Dr. Mindy