Sorry guys - I've been gone for a while. Long summer days have kept me outdoors and away from my keyboard. I'll be back again when the weather gets worse, or sooner if I get the notion!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Life, death, and everything in between.
This has been a difficult week.
The father of one of my very best friends is terminally ill. It has been a week of struggle and sadness for her and her family. I love these people, and it pains me to see them hurting. The father is a really cool guy who I wish I could have gotten to know better over the years. Hindsight....
This week, in general, though, has been a slew of cancer diagnoses for my patients. I have seen more new diagnoses this week and more end stage people than I care to think about. Maybe not, maybe it is just standing out because of what is going on outside of my job, but I don't really think so.
I've had "that talk" several times this week. I had a man who's wife died a couple of months ago who just wants to go. He's ill, but not dying. He sat in my office and basically pleaded with me that he's ready. He said he's made his peace, he's hurting, he's suffocating from lung disease, and he's tired. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do for him except watch him wish he could just get taken. I don't believe in assisted suicide. I'm sorry. I'd love to see people be able to stop their pain, but I believe that my job is to ease them gently into death, not push them headlong into it. I want to make my patients as comfortable as possible by whatever means necessary, but I don't believe in killing them. It's a hopeless situation no matter how you look at it. Although I'm not a particularly religious person, I do believe in God and believe that it's his/her decision to take a person, not mine. But then again, I look at this man's suffering and wish there was something else I could offer.
I think that is another thing that upsets me when my friends and family are in this situation. As I've mentioned before in my blog, as a doctor (and more so probably as a mother), I want to fix people. I became a doctor to heal. When I can't it's frustrating. I know that I can't fix everything, but it doesn't make it any easier to look into the face of my friend's father and know that no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to fix this.
The same is true for my own father. Don't get me wrong, I would not even think to put what that man and his family are going through on the same page as what we are going through. Still, though, Dad has a chronic autoimmune disorder called Myasthenia Gravis. It affects his muscles. It makes it hard for him to talk, swallow, walk, lift, etc. He has good weeks and bad. He's now reacting to the only treatment that he responded to, and he may not be able to take it anymore. I look at him when he's feeling bad and feel like, "Why the hell can't I fix this?" I'm forever reading and trying to find new things to help. This is another reason why I'm doing to alternative medicine route. So many maladies exist that we as doctors have no clue how to treat. I'm trying my hardest to find something to help him.
So, back to the clinic....
I had another patient this week who has lung cancer. She continues to smoke, and I honestly agree with her. Why not? She's opted not to treat her cancer because she doesn't think she'll be able to tolerate chemo, and that's likely. I asked her if she's ready for what is coming, and she said she cries a lot. I asked her if she was religious, and she said no, but that she believes in God. I asked her if she's made her peace with him, and she said that she hasn't because she doesn't deserve him. That was a tough one. I talked to her for a while, and gave her all kinds of reasons why I believe that's not true, but I know that down deep inside she isn't going to accept otherwise, and that's another think I can't fix. Not in the time I have with her, anyhow.
Another patient who is also someone who I hold dear had her annual mammogram and was found to have a mass. Another one has ovarian cancer that is newly diagnosed.
It just seems like it's all hitting at once this week, and I wish I could fix them.
I don't put this out there for pats on the back. I know I'm doing everything I can do, I just wish that there was more to offer. I wish I could take the pain away from my friend and her family. I wish that there was a way to humanely allow people who are terminal to "Go gently into that good night". I wish that when people found out that they were terminal, that there was a way to take away all their cares and worries and make their last weeks the best that they've ever experienced so that all that they had left was beauty and wonder when they crossed over.
More that that, I wish we never had to lose loved ones. I am SO very lucky. Both my parents are living. My brother is living. My grandparents on my dad's side are living, and my grandmother on my mom's side is living. I even knew my great grandparents, and one of them met my daughter. I'm blessed. I don't even know what I'd do without them. I don't know what my friend is going to do. I have another friend that lost her little brother recently. I don't know how people find the strength to go on in situations like that.
I have a memory of my dad that will always stick with me - it may seem petty, but it is one of the strongest I've seen him, oddly. Maybe this is how I'm going to do it when I have to....
I was in high school and had just broken up with my boyfriend of two years. I was crying hysterically, and no matter what dad did or said, I just couldn't stop crying. I remember I was sitting at the bar in the kitchen and had my head down sobbing. He went into the kitchen, opened the fridge, got out some eggs, milk, and cheese, and proceeded to make me an omelet. (I think that was all he knew how to cook) He set the omelet in front of me and just stood there looking at me. He didn't say a word, but handed me the fork. I stopped crying a little and started to eat, slowly. By the end of the omelet, I'd calmed down enough to move and breathe a little. It was one of the most remarkable memories I have just because it was so simple.
It is little, and it's not the death of a loved one, but that simple act kind of put everything in perspective for me.
I hope that my friend and my patients and their families can find a person to make that omelet for them. I hope that I can have something to do with their ability to get through it. And, I hope that slowly, one bite at a time, people go back to the every day things and can go on with their lives.
The father of one of my very best friends is terminally ill. It has been a week of struggle and sadness for her and her family. I love these people, and it pains me to see them hurting. The father is a really cool guy who I wish I could have gotten to know better over the years. Hindsight....
This week, in general, though, has been a slew of cancer diagnoses for my patients. I have seen more new diagnoses this week and more end stage people than I care to think about. Maybe not, maybe it is just standing out because of what is going on outside of my job, but I don't really think so.
I've had "that talk" several times this week. I had a man who's wife died a couple of months ago who just wants to go. He's ill, but not dying. He sat in my office and basically pleaded with me that he's ready. He said he's made his peace, he's hurting, he's suffocating from lung disease, and he's tired. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do for him except watch him wish he could just get taken. I don't believe in assisted suicide. I'm sorry. I'd love to see people be able to stop their pain, but I believe that my job is to ease them gently into death, not push them headlong into it. I want to make my patients as comfortable as possible by whatever means necessary, but I don't believe in killing them. It's a hopeless situation no matter how you look at it. Although I'm not a particularly religious person, I do believe in God and believe that it's his/her decision to take a person, not mine. But then again, I look at this man's suffering and wish there was something else I could offer.
I think that is another thing that upsets me when my friends and family are in this situation. As I've mentioned before in my blog, as a doctor (and more so probably as a mother), I want to fix people. I became a doctor to heal. When I can't it's frustrating. I know that I can't fix everything, but it doesn't make it any easier to look into the face of my friend's father and know that no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to fix this.
The same is true for my own father. Don't get me wrong, I would not even think to put what that man and his family are going through on the same page as what we are going through. Still, though, Dad has a chronic autoimmune disorder called Myasthenia Gravis. It affects his muscles. It makes it hard for him to talk, swallow, walk, lift, etc. He has good weeks and bad. He's now reacting to the only treatment that he responded to, and he may not be able to take it anymore. I look at him when he's feeling bad and feel like, "Why the hell can't I fix this?" I'm forever reading and trying to find new things to help. This is another reason why I'm doing to alternative medicine route. So many maladies exist that we as doctors have no clue how to treat. I'm trying my hardest to find something to help him.
So, back to the clinic....
I had another patient this week who has lung cancer. She continues to smoke, and I honestly agree with her. Why not? She's opted not to treat her cancer because she doesn't think she'll be able to tolerate chemo, and that's likely. I asked her if she's ready for what is coming, and she said she cries a lot. I asked her if she was religious, and she said no, but that she believes in God. I asked her if she's made her peace with him, and she said that she hasn't because she doesn't deserve him. That was a tough one. I talked to her for a while, and gave her all kinds of reasons why I believe that's not true, but I know that down deep inside she isn't going to accept otherwise, and that's another think I can't fix. Not in the time I have with her, anyhow.
Another patient who is also someone who I hold dear had her annual mammogram and was found to have a mass. Another one has ovarian cancer that is newly diagnosed.
It just seems like it's all hitting at once this week, and I wish I could fix them.
I don't put this out there for pats on the back. I know I'm doing everything I can do, I just wish that there was more to offer. I wish I could take the pain away from my friend and her family. I wish that there was a way to humanely allow people who are terminal to "Go gently into that good night". I wish that when people found out that they were terminal, that there was a way to take away all their cares and worries and make their last weeks the best that they've ever experienced so that all that they had left was beauty and wonder when they crossed over.
More that that, I wish we never had to lose loved ones. I am SO very lucky. Both my parents are living. My brother is living. My grandparents on my dad's side are living, and my grandmother on my mom's side is living. I even knew my great grandparents, and one of them met my daughter. I'm blessed. I don't even know what I'd do without them. I don't know what my friend is going to do. I have another friend that lost her little brother recently. I don't know how people find the strength to go on in situations like that.
I have a memory of my dad that will always stick with me - it may seem petty, but it is one of the strongest I've seen him, oddly. Maybe this is how I'm going to do it when I have to....
I was in high school and had just broken up with my boyfriend of two years. I was crying hysterically, and no matter what dad did or said, I just couldn't stop crying. I remember I was sitting at the bar in the kitchen and had my head down sobbing. He went into the kitchen, opened the fridge, got out some eggs, milk, and cheese, and proceeded to make me an omelet. (I think that was all he knew how to cook) He set the omelet in front of me and just stood there looking at me. He didn't say a word, but handed me the fork. I stopped crying a little and started to eat, slowly. By the end of the omelet, I'd calmed down enough to move and breathe a little. It was one of the most remarkable memories I have just because it was so simple.
It is little, and it's not the death of a loved one, but that simple act kind of put everything in perspective for me.
I hope that my friend and my patients and their families can find a person to make that omelet for them. I hope that I can have something to do with their ability to get through it. And, I hope that slowly, one bite at a time, people go back to the every day things and can go on with their lives.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Overextending
So, here's a list of what I'm doing lately:
1. Asst leader for the girl scout troop
2. U-8 soccer coach
3. Den leader (moving into the position of pack leader) for the cub scout pack.
4. Sunday school teacher for 8th and 9th graders.
5. YMCA board of directors
6. Seneca soccer board of directors
Did I mention full time doctor, mother, and wife?
I had a bit of a breakdown last night and told Phil that it was too much. I believe that I have overextended (again). I know what I have to do, and I'm going to do it - the problem is figuring out where to cut back. Ultimately, I do these extra-curricular activities so that I can spend time with the kids or give the kids better opportunities. I guess where I need to thin out is those things that take time away from the kids rather than allowing me to spend time with them.
When you work full time, you feel guilty for every minute not spent with the children when you're not working. At least I do. I feel like my time is limited with them as it is, and the last thing I want to do is spend more time away. Much of my "home" time, as it is, is spent paying bills, balancing the checkbook, straightening the house, mowing the lawn, and trying to keep everything in order.
So, this all gets to my bigger point. I've been really bad on the medifast lately. I've been doing great during the day, but having wine at night- which leads to cheese, crackers, popcorn, etc. I also have been so stressed that I'm too tired at night to do any sort of activity. I keep saying that when I change my hours in June, it's going to get better, but I realized that the knowledge of more home time made me less likely to say no to people who were asking. So, now I've got myself overextended, and it's not good for my health.
I decided this week to stop. I have gotten back full swing on medifast. I made another incredible meal last night - spaghetti squash covered with ground beef and some sweet peppers in tomato base that a patient had made for us. I souped it up with a little basil and lots of garlic - mixed it together. It was wonderful! Monday, we slow cooked a pig leg with Mexican seasoning. We ate it with spinach and some (a little) mustard bbq sauce. I am trying to work in a walk during the day sometime - whether it's at lunch or right after work. It didn't happen Tuesday, but it did today. I'm also trying to not drink wine at night for a while until I get my diet and my stress back on track.
I have made some decisions about cutting back as well. The only one that I've told is the church. I don't enjoy teaching Sunday School, and I am not spending time with my kids during that time, so it is not something I want to do. I could use that time to go grocery shopping while my kids are in class, so that I don't have to do it when I could be spending time with them. (I could take them with me, and often do, but that usually decompensates into badness - "No, no, no, no, OMG, I'm going to strangle you, no, no, no...") I really need to concentrate on my health so that I can be there for everyone who is depending on me, and this is my first step.
I have lost 30 lbs, but still need to lose 30 more, and I need to get my head on straight to do that.
For those of you that are wondering where Phil is during all of this, he's here. He's great at doing anything I ask of him, but he's busy too. He works more hours "doctoring" than I do. He also works on the farm, helps with the house, helps with the kids, coaches soccer, and coaches wrestling. I can't say anything negative about him - he's great!
I'm not putting this out there to whine. I'm putting this out there because I know a lot of women are trying to balance home, work, health, and weight loss, too. We're all doing the same thing and trying to slog through it. It's freaking hard, and even though my job is to teach people how to do this, I fail, too. I make bad decisions and I allow my life to get the better of me. BUT, I'm also here to say that it doesn't have to be like that. I am going to make the changes I need to over and over again if that is what it takes. I am looking forward to getting some newer, sexier clothes when I lose my weight. I'm also looking forward to having nicer legs (from exercise) and more energy.
I hope that it is helpful for some people to read about my struggles with health, overextension, weight, and life. It certainly helps me to write about it! :-)
Dr. Mindy
1. Asst leader for the girl scout troop
2. U-8 soccer coach
3. Den leader (moving into the position of pack leader) for the cub scout pack.
4. Sunday school teacher for 8th and 9th graders.
5. YMCA board of directors
6. Seneca soccer board of directors
Did I mention full time doctor, mother, and wife?
I had a bit of a breakdown last night and told Phil that it was too much. I believe that I have overextended (again). I know what I have to do, and I'm going to do it - the problem is figuring out where to cut back. Ultimately, I do these extra-curricular activities so that I can spend time with the kids or give the kids better opportunities. I guess where I need to thin out is those things that take time away from the kids rather than allowing me to spend time with them.
When you work full time, you feel guilty for every minute not spent with the children when you're not working. At least I do. I feel like my time is limited with them as it is, and the last thing I want to do is spend more time away. Much of my "home" time, as it is, is spent paying bills, balancing the checkbook, straightening the house, mowing the lawn, and trying to keep everything in order.
So, this all gets to my bigger point. I've been really bad on the medifast lately. I've been doing great during the day, but having wine at night- which leads to cheese, crackers, popcorn, etc. I also have been so stressed that I'm too tired at night to do any sort of activity. I keep saying that when I change my hours in June, it's going to get better, but I realized that the knowledge of more home time made me less likely to say no to people who were asking. So, now I've got myself overextended, and it's not good for my health.
I decided this week to stop. I have gotten back full swing on medifast. I made another incredible meal last night - spaghetti squash covered with ground beef and some sweet peppers in tomato base that a patient had made for us. I souped it up with a little basil and lots of garlic - mixed it together. It was wonderful! Monday, we slow cooked a pig leg with Mexican seasoning. We ate it with spinach and some (a little) mustard bbq sauce. I am trying to work in a walk during the day sometime - whether it's at lunch or right after work. It didn't happen Tuesday, but it did today. I'm also trying to not drink wine at night for a while until I get my diet and my stress back on track.
I have made some decisions about cutting back as well. The only one that I've told is the church. I don't enjoy teaching Sunday School, and I am not spending time with my kids during that time, so it is not something I want to do. I could use that time to go grocery shopping while my kids are in class, so that I don't have to do it when I could be spending time with them. (I could take them with me, and often do, but that usually decompensates into badness - "No, no, no, no, OMG, I'm going to strangle you, no, no, no...") I really need to concentrate on my health so that I can be there for everyone who is depending on me, and this is my first step.
I have lost 30 lbs, but still need to lose 30 more, and I need to get my head on straight to do that.
For those of you that are wondering where Phil is during all of this, he's here. He's great at doing anything I ask of him, but he's busy too. He works more hours "doctoring" than I do. He also works on the farm, helps with the house, helps with the kids, coaches soccer, and coaches wrestling. I can't say anything negative about him - he's great!
I'm not putting this out there to whine. I'm putting this out there because I know a lot of women are trying to balance home, work, health, and weight loss, too. We're all doing the same thing and trying to slog through it. It's freaking hard, and even though my job is to teach people how to do this, I fail, too. I make bad decisions and I allow my life to get the better of me. BUT, I'm also here to say that it doesn't have to be like that. I am going to make the changes I need to over and over again if that is what it takes. I am looking forward to getting some newer, sexier clothes when I lose my weight. I'm also looking forward to having nicer legs (from exercise) and more energy.
I hope that it is helpful for some people to read about my struggles with health, overextension, weight, and life. It certainly helps me to write about it! :-)
Dr. Mindy
Friday, May 6, 2011
things we'll always remember
OK, I admit, I've gotten away from the healthy dieting thread. There is a method to my madness. I'll get back to you on what that method is. :-)
Today, I was in the car with Emma, her friend Sofia, Lee, and his friend, Max. We were driving home from a soccer game that I coached along with a great assistant coach. The kids were high on game endorphins and talking nonstop.
Emma and Sofia were telling me about their adventures during Lee's game. We were in a small town in WV, and the field borders a small stream and a large mountain. The girls went exploring when we were playing, and they were full of stories of why they were wet up to their knees, how Emma saved Sofia's life, and how Sofia saved Emma's life. They also found many mystical creatures and endangered species while they were exploring. Sofia suggested that they write down the stories of the cool adventures that they have had together and call it the "Best Friends Scrapbook." I was grinning from ear to ear.
I told the kids that these are the things that they'll always remember. Being on the soccer team with their best friends. Exploring the woods with their best friends. Emma and another really close friend were exploring the woods about 4 years ago, and they both found a creek. They were 6 and wanted to go in, so we just let them take their clothes off and play. They had a blast, and now, 4 years later, they are still talking about it and remembering it fondly.
It got me remembering some of my fonder memories from childhood, and I thought I'd share.
I remember living on Halley Street in Erie, PA, when I was less than 5 years old. We lived across an alley from an ice cream place. The alley was paved in asphalt shingles, and in the summer, they got really hot and squishy. I sooo remember the smell of the tar combined with the smell of the fresh cones and ice cream from the shop. I remember that on VERY special occasions, my parents would let me go there and get ice cream. I would get vanilla with those sweet nut crunchy things on top. I'll never taste anything so good, I don't think, as long as I live.
I remember living on Station Road in Erie, PA. One great memory was staging a play - The Fox and the Grapes- with my brother and some friends of ours, the Laroux's. We invited the entire neighborhood and they all came. We charged 25 cents or something, and put on a great production. It was one of the few times that my brother and I worked together without trying to kill each other! Also, at that address, I remember laying in the back of my father's old pick up truck and staring at the sky. I was convinced that I was staring at Aurora Boorealis (sp?) I also remember walking with my brother and my best friend, Jill in the woods behind that house. We heard a really loud, horrible noise. We thought it was a bear. We started running really hard out of the forest. I tripped and fell, and Timmy picked me up and kept running. Jill was 2 years older than me, so she could run faster. Turns out, it was a wreck on the interstate near us, but is sure sounded like a bear!
I remember travelling back East with my family when I was 12 or so. We went to Ohio for a family reunion with my mother's family. My cousin, Matt, and I got to know each other a lot better on that vacation. Mostly, I remember walking with Matt through the forest around his house. We found all kinds of cool vegetation and fauna. I wasn't used to the lush forest environment - growing up in Texas - it was WAY cool.
I remember so much from my life in Texas. I had great friends and great times. I loved laying in my brother's pick up truck and staring at the stars. NOTHING is as beautiful as the night sky in Texas. As I got older, I loved sharing that with my boyfriend at the time. (I didn't have a lot of boyfriends, mind you. I was really a one guy girl.) It was so very peaceful. I would often go out there and write poetry. (Yes, I was THAT girl) I also loved going to lake Amistad with my friends - especially Ramon (who is now deceased, and missed every day). We would take a half 55 gallon barrel, put a grate on it, cook fajitas, and drink beer. We had so many great nights at the lake doing that.
College was a blur of some of the most wonderful times of my life. Many of those wonderful memories surround the Delta Tau Delta (Phil's frat) house and the brothers there. I couldn't even begin to list the wonderful memories I have from then. I will, however, relay the best one. Phil and I had been dating for about a year. We used to sneak out the window in the bathroom of the restroom on the top floor and sit on the roof together. (Lots of people did). From there, we had a great view of the campus and McDonough field where they would have concerts and such. One night, we were out there by ourselves - again, looking at the stars - sitting on a cheap lounge chair. Phil had his arms around me, and he'd been quiet for a while. He finally said, "You know what? I think I love you." I said, "I think I love you too." He kissed me, and we've been blissfully happy ever since. Of all my wonderful memories from college, this is still the best.
I have so many more stories to tell about our marriage, kids, life in general. These are just some of them that stood out when I was telling my kids to enjoy this time with their friends - these are the things we'll always remember.
Dr. Mindy
Today, I was in the car with Emma, her friend Sofia, Lee, and his friend, Max. We were driving home from a soccer game that I coached along with a great assistant coach. The kids were high on game endorphins and talking nonstop.
Emma and Sofia were telling me about their adventures during Lee's game. We were in a small town in WV, and the field borders a small stream and a large mountain. The girls went exploring when we were playing, and they were full of stories of why they were wet up to their knees, how Emma saved Sofia's life, and how Sofia saved Emma's life. They also found many mystical creatures and endangered species while they were exploring. Sofia suggested that they write down the stories of the cool adventures that they have had together and call it the "Best Friends Scrapbook." I was grinning from ear to ear.
I told the kids that these are the things that they'll always remember. Being on the soccer team with their best friends. Exploring the woods with their best friends. Emma and another really close friend were exploring the woods about 4 years ago, and they both found a creek. They were 6 and wanted to go in, so we just let them take their clothes off and play. They had a blast, and now, 4 years later, they are still talking about it and remembering it fondly.
It got me remembering some of my fonder memories from childhood, and I thought I'd share.
I remember living on Halley Street in Erie, PA, when I was less than 5 years old. We lived across an alley from an ice cream place. The alley was paved in asphalt shingles, and in the summer, they got really hot and squishy. I sooo remember the smell of the tar combined with the smell of the fresh cones and ice cream from the shop. I remember that on VERY special occasions, my parents would let me go there and get ice cream. I would get vanilla with those sweet nut crunchy things on top. I'll never taste anything so good, I don't think, as long as I live.
I remember living on Station Road in Erie, PA. One great memory was staging a play - The Fox and the Grapes- with my brother and some friends of ours, the Laroux's. We invited the entire neighborhood and they all came. We charged 25 cents or something, and put on a great production. It was one of the few times that my brother and I worked together without trying to kill each other! Also, at that address, I remember laying in the back of my father's old pick up truck and staring at the sky. I was convinced that I was staring at Aurora Boorealis (sp?) I also remember walking with my brother and my best friend, Jill in the woods behind that house. We heard a really loud, horrible noise. We thought it was a bear. We started running really hard out of the forest. I tripped and fell, and Timmy picked me up and kept running. Jill was 2 years older than me, so she could run faster. Turns out, it was a wreck on the interstate near us, but is sure sounded like a bear!
I remember travelling back East with my family when I was 12 or so. We went to Ohio for a family reunion with my mother's family. My cousin, Matt, and I got to know each other a lot better on that vacation. Mostly, I remember walking with Matt through the forest around his house. We found all kinds of cool vegetation and fauna. I wasn't used to the lush forest environment - growing up in Texas - it was WAY cool.
I remember so much from my life in Texas. I had great friends and great times. I loved laying in my brother's pick up truck and staring at the stars. NOTHING is as beautiful as the night sky in Texas. As I got older, I loved sharing that with my boyfriend at the time. (I didn't have a lot of boyfriends, mind you. I was really a one guy girl.) It was so very peaceful. I would often go out there and write poetry. (Yes, I was THAT girl) I also loved going to lake Amistad with my friends - especially Ramon (who is now deceased, and missed every day). We would take a half 55 gallon barrel, put a grate on it, cook fajitas, and drink beer. We had so many great nights at the lake doing that.
College was a blur of some of the most wonderful times of my life. Many of those wonderful memories surround the Delta Tau Delta (Phil's frat) house and the brothers there. I couldn't even begin to list the wonderful memories I have from then. I will, however, relay the best one. Phil and I had been dating for about a year. We used to sneak out the window in the bathroom of the restroom on the top floor and sit on the roof together. (Lots of people did). From there, we had a great view of the campus and McDonough field where they would have concerts and such. One night, we were out there by ourselves - again, looking at the stars - sitting on a cheap lounge chair. Phil had his arms around me, and he'd been quiet for a while. He finally said, "You know what? I think I love you." I said, "I think I love you too." He kissed me, and we've been blissfully happy ever since. Of all my wonderful memories from college, this is still the best.
I have so many more stories to tell about our marriage, kids, life in general. These are just some of them that stood out when I was telling my kids to enjoy this time with their friends - these are the things we'll always remember.
Dr. Mindy
Monday, April 25, 2011
I'm Baaack....
Did you miss me?
I just spent a week in Florida, and I tried very hard to stay away from any and all computers with the exception of my ipad and kindle for reading and some looking up of local eateries and such.
I have to admit, I WAY blew the diet. I didn't even bring medifast to the beach. Oddly, I didn't do as bad as I usually do when on vacation. I think the medifast has changed the way I handle fatty and high carb foods. I just cant do it like I used to.
We had a really nice vacation with family and friends. It was Phil, his brother, our great friend, Dave, my parents, another great friend, Pete, and another family with whom we travel well. Their kids and our kids are about the same age, and get along great. The weather was perfect, and we had a wonderful time. We are all good cooks, so the meals were pretty spectacular - particularly the one that was cooked by our friend from Spain. She made paella with fresh seafood that was out of this world, and the same night I put some fresh oysters on the grill just long enough for them to pop so they'd be easy to shuck (idea courtesy of Matt). They were salty, barely warm, juicy, and succulent. She also made crayfish that night, and clams in garlic sauce. Oh, what a night. We had some white wine, some frozen daiquiris, and a ton of laughs.
Another night, Matt made a grouper with Chinese sauce on it that we ended up eating in fish tacos the next day. It was out of control good. He also made some Korean roast beef one night that was too good to even describe. We had that with black beans and rice and a salad. We had tuna steaks and shark steaks another night.
Also, Phil and Pete went wild boar hunting on Wednesday, so on Wednesday, we had wild boar ribs that were spectacular.
For breakfast, Dave was in charge of the Lox and bagel. Silvia made everyone omelets one morning with farm fresh eggs (that we brought). My mom made her famous breakfast tacos another morning. Matt and Phil had donuts from Krispy Kreme (Fresh NOW) and we went through pounds of coffee.
We also went sightseeing to St. Augustine, the Fountain of Youth, and the oldest Plantation in the country. It was pretty cool. I'd like to go back to St. Augustine sometime. When we went, Emma's pump wasn't working right, so we spent the whole day chasing sugars. She didn't come down below 400 the whole day, and it was a, "So, do we take her to the hospital, or see if this works?" kind of day. On the other hand, we did do a walking ghost tour, and that was pretty cool. We really had a wonderful time there.
The best part of the entire vacation, though, was being able to relax with friends and family. It was great talking late into the evening. The kids had a ton to keep them occupied, and also had a blast. We shared stories of how we met, what we used to do, and what our goals and ideas for the future are. It was really a great trip - one I hope to repeat again sometime.
I love that our kids get these kinds of experiences. Last year, we took a similar trip with Pete, his wife, Suzanne, and their kids. We went to Lake Norman, NC, and had such a wonderful time. We also ate well, and we did a TON of stuff with the children. We really travel well with these guys, and it's such a blessing. In fact, I'm considering a trip to their hometown to hang out with Suz and the kids while the boys do another fishing trip in August.
I have come to realize in my old age just how important great friends are. These guys that I've been talking about (plus a couple others not aforementioned) are the stuff that lifetime memories are made of. Our kids will always remember these vacations with their friends, and I'll always know that even if we don't see each other for years, we'll pick up right where we left off. I'm so profoundly blessed by having each and every one of them in my life. Amazing. Plus, my parents were with us, and I am often struck by how lucky I and my children are to have my parents in our life and well enough to run around the country with us. They've gone with us to Disney, Jamaica, Florida (in general), North Carolina, Tennessee....the list goes on. They love my kids and my kids would be lost without them. Again, blessed, and lucky.
Our trip was pretty uneventful (with the exception of Phil stabbing a wild boar with a dagger in a very Lord of the Flies type experience - but that's his story, not mine...), relaxing, and wonderful. Now, it's back to the ins and outs of every day life. Last night we stopped in Elkin, NC, to rest, and we saw that they were having a wine festival this summer. Phil and I thought, cool- we should go! So, I got out my ipad to look at my calendar, and guess what? We have NO open weekends from now until mid August. Seriously. Between our trips, our kids camps, and work, we have NO open weekends. So, if you're a friend, and it seems like I'm ignoring you, remember how much I love you and that you're welcome to come spend an evening at the pool anytime during the week. I just probably won't be seeing you on weekends!
Dr. Mindy
I just spent a week in Florida, and I tried very hard to stay away from any and all computers with the exception of my ipad and kindle for reading and some looking up of local eateries and such.
I have to admit, I WAY blew the diet. I didn't even bring medifast to the beach. Oddly, I didn't do as bad as I usually do when on vacation. I think the medifast has changed the way I handle fatty and high carb foods. I just cant do it like I used to.
We had a really nice vacation with family and friends. It was Phil, his brother, our great friend, Dave, my parents, another great friend, Pete, and another family with whom we travel well. Their kids and our kids are about the same age, and get along great. The weather was perfect, and we had a wonderful time. We are all good cooks, so the meals were pretty spectacular - particularly the one that was cooked by our friend from Spain. She made paella with fresh seafood that was out of this world, and the same night I put some fresh oysters on the grill just long enough for them to pop so they'd be easy to shuck (idea courtesy of Matt). They were salty, barely warm, juicy, and succulent. She also made crayfish that night, and clams in garlic sauce. Oh, what a night. We had some white wine, some frozen daiquiris, and a ton of laughs.
Another night, Matt made a grouper with Chinese sauce on it that we ended up eating in fish tacos the next day. It was out of control good. He also made some Korean roast beef one night that was too good to even describe. We had that with black beans and rice and a salad. We had tuna steaks and shark steaks another night.
Also, Phil and Pete went wild boar hunting on Wednesday, so on Wednesday, we had wild boar ribs that were spectacular.
For breakfast, Dave was in charge of the Lox and bagel. Silvia made everyone omelets one morning with farm fresh eggs (that we brought). My mom made her famous breakfast tacos another morning. Matt and Phil had donuts from Krispy Kreme (Fresh NOW) and we went through pounds of coffee.
We also went sightseeing to St. Augustine, the Fountain of Youth, and the oldest Plantation in the country. It was pretty cool. I'd like to go back to St. Augustine sometime. When we went, Emma's pump wasn't working right, so we spent the whole day chasing sugars. She didn't come down below 400 the whole day, and it was a, "So, do we take her to the hospital, or see if this works?" kind of day. On the other hand, we did do a walking ghost tour, and that was pretty cool. We really had a wonderful time there.
The best part of the entire vacation, though, was being able to relax with friends and family. It was great talking late into the evening. The kids had a ton to keep them occupied, and also had a blast. We shared stories of how we met, what we used to do, and what our goals and ideas for the future are. It was really a great trip - one I hope to repeat again sometime.
I love that our kids get these kinds of experiences. Last year, we took a similar trip with Pete, his wife, Suzanne, and their kids. We went to Lake Norman, NC, and had such a wonderful time. We also ate well, and we did a TON of stuff with the children. We really travel well with these guys, and it's such a blessing. In fact, I'm considering a trip to their hometown to hang out with Suz and the kids while the boys do another fishing trip in August.
I have come to realize in my old age just how important great friends are. These guys that I've been talking about (plus a couple others not aforementioned) are the stuff that lifetime memories are made of. Our kids will always remember these vacations with their friends, and I'll always know that even if we don't see each other for years, we'll pick up right where we left off. I'm so profoundly blessed by having each and every one of them in my life. Amazing. Plus, my parents were with us, and I am often struck by how lucky I and my children are to have my parents in our life and well enough to run around the country with us. They've gone with us to Disney, Jamaica, Florida (in general), North Carolina, Tennessee....the list goes on. They love my kids and my kids would be lost without them. Again, blessed, and lucky.
Our trip was pretty uneventful (with the exception of Phil stabbing a wild boar with a dagger in a very Lord of the Flies type experience - but that's his story, not mine...), relaxing, and wonderful. Now, it's back to the ins and outs of every day life. Last night we stopped in Elkin, NC, to rest, and we saw that they were having a wine festival this summer. Phil and I thought, cool- we should go! So, I got out my ipad to look at my calendar, and guess what? We have NO open weekends from now until mid August. Seriously. Between our trips, our kids camps, and work, we have NO open weekends. So, if you're a friend, and it seems like I'm ignoring you, remember how much I love you and that you're welcome to come spend an evening at the pool anytime during the week. I just probably won't be seeing you on weekends!
Dr. Mindy
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
unbelievable
Now, I think I'm a pretty open minded person. I try, in my practice, to understand where people are coming from physically, financially, and emotionally so that I can treat them appropriately. I understand that some people have hard times and that the government has programs in place for these people.
BUT>>>>>>>>
I was so irrationally angry yesterday at a convenience store that I came home and screamed at my poor, unknowing husband for no real good reason. (Yes, he gets that a lot, and he's a saint to put up with me like he does - more on the miscommunication that caused the ruckus soon...)
I was in line at the convenience store trying to buy a snack for Emma because her sugar was dropping. I picked out a think of pineapple chunks in juice and a stick of cheese. Feeling very proud of myself that I found her a healthful snack at the convenience store, I swaggered up to the register only to be beat out by seconds by another woman. I must admit that I did begrudge her a little because I was in a hurry, but only a little.
The lady has on the counter 8 cases of name brand soda, a bag of Doritos, and a gallon of milk. She proceeds to get rung up, and the cashier announces that her total for this is 42.80 or something of the sort. She mumbled something I couldn't understand, and the cashier pointed to a little card swiper off to the right. She then re-rings the purchase without tax. Curious, I kind of looked over the woman's shoulder, and come to find out that she's paying with FOOD STAMPS!!! I have so many problems with this, I don't even know where to start.
1. NO ONE should be allowed to use food stamps at a convenience store. It is WAY too expensive. Is this lady going to run out of stamps by the end of the month and end up at the food bank? Likely. I have patients that are trying to feed a family of 6 with food stamps, and they do run out of money, but they're at least trying to buy food that will sustain their children. 42.80 (minus tax) for 8 cases of soda and two other items comes out to about 7.50 per case of soda. Seriously? When Kroger has buy one, get one free at 4 dollars a case??? Why is this allowed to happen?
2. SODA??? SERIOUSLY???? Now, in their defense, the food stamp program doesn't allow cigarettes or alcohol to be purchased on the cards. Instead, people buy cases of soda, then sell them to their friends for cash to buy the cigarettes and beer. It's a little harder now because it used to be that they would just sell the stamps themselves. Now, with the declining balance card, they actually have to purchase something and resell it to make any cash for ciggys. Aside from that, soda IS NOT FOOD!!!! It is horrible for children - it rots their teeth and makes them obese. It sucks calcium from their bones and replaces nourishing water. Plus, all but 2 cases were caffeinated. So, assuming that this woman had kids, they are probably having trouble in school due to being all sugared and caffienated up. I have seen people give their kids mountain dew at 8:00 at night. Then, they come in and tell me their kids can't sleep and are falling asleep in school. REALLY? Nooooo..... I honestly cannot believe that the food stamp program allows this and actually puts the card reader in convenience stores. With the incredible obesity crisis that we're facing in the nation, the government is allowing people to buy Doritos and pop on their dime. Un-freaking-believable.
3. Ok, so I'm in line behind her as she is ringing up a fortune in pop, and then her husband comes in to start carting the cases out. I think that she is done and try to deftly maneuver my way up to the counter around the mountain of soda, but, OH, she's not done. Next, she takes out her own (hard earned, I'm sure) money to buy 4 packs of cigarettes and 4 lottery tickets. So, now I'm even more miffed because I'm in a hurry, I'm astounded by the flagrant lack of concern about what she is spending the taxpayer's money on, and she's starting another transaction. Wow. Has enough money to buy $6 a pack cigs (name brand, of course- camel ultra lights), but has to buy her pop with the food stamp card.
4. THE KICKER. The woman raised her arms to stretch when in line and revealed approximately $800 dollars worth of low back art. Seriously. It was one of the nicest tattoos I've ever seen - fairies and lilies and vines from one side of her ample low back to the other. I can only assume it's about $800 worth.
Wow. I still can't get over it.
So, I was plenty irritated when I got through the line. Then, Phil called and told me that the suddenlink guy was at the house and waiting for me. I had to deliver the kids to piano and pick them up, make dinner, and make it to girl scouts by 6:15, so I was rushed. I asked Phil to stop on his way home and pick me up some white wine. Unfortunately, I called him from my nephew's phone at piano, then left and went home to get my phone. I went home to meet the suddenlink guy. I got even more frustrated because the guy had to go through my house, and as he was doing so, I kept having to move all of the crap that Phil has never put away (i.e., guns, tools, fishing poles - in my DINING ROOM) and I had to move out the couches which had dust bunnies the size of the dog behind them. So, I was embarrassed, irritated, and rushed. We all know that this is NOT a good combination.
About 40 minutes later, Phil texted back to my nephew's phone, not knowing that I was no longer using it. He said, "pinot grigio?" My nephew (or his mother) did not know that he was texting me, so they said, "How about a nice Chianti?" Then they had a little Silence of the Lambs banter. In Phil's defense, we've had that banter hundreds of times, so there was no way that he would know it wasn't me on the other end of the line. (And, I must admit, that if my nephew knows that movie, I'm a little worried.) So, Phil comes home at 6:15 with 4 bottles of red wine. I know nothing of these text messages, and I'm already mad because of his stuff everywhere, so Phil is greeted with, "Gee, thanks, hon. I ask for one freaking thing, and you can't even get that right. And, by the way, you are not doing any outside projects this weekend, so don't plan anything - we are going to clean up this damn house so our kids aren't living in a pig sty. And, don't expect me home right away from scouts because I have to go out and get my own damn wine because you couldn't even get the right kind!"
I'm so embarrassed. Poor Phil. Have I mentioned that he's a saint and the best husband in the whole wide universe????
He sputtered a little. He was SOOO confused. He didn't have time to explain about the texts because I had to go to girl scouts. When I got home, he had moved his guns, boxes, and fishing poles, and had his phone ready to show me that he was not, in fact, screwing up, but following what looked like a conversation with me.
Actually, it would have been a comical situation if I hadn't have been insane when it happened.
I've never claimed to be easy to live with. Luckily, Phil can handle me. He will say that he has his own issues that are hard to live with, so we even each other out. I think he got the short end of the stick sometimes....but we love each other more and more every day, and that's really all that matters.
As always,
Dr. Mindy
BUT>>>>>>>>
I was so irrationally angry yesterday at a convenience store that I came home and screamed at my poor, unknowing husband for no real good reason. (Yes, he gets that a lot, and he's a saint to put up with me like he does - more on the miscommunication that caused the ruckus soon...)
I was in line at the convenience store trying to buy a snack for Emma because her sugar was dropping. I picked out a think of pineapple chunks in juice and a stick of cheese. Feeling very proud of myself that I found her a healthful snack at the convenience store, I swaggered up to the register only to be beat out by seconds by another woman. I must admit that I did begrudge her a little because I was in a hurry, but only a little.
The lady has on the counter 8 cases of name brand soda, a bag of Doritos, and a gallon of milk. She proceeds to get rung up, and the cashier announces that her total for this is 42.80 or something of the sort. She mumbled something I couldn't understand, and the cashier pointed to a little card swiper off to the right. She then re-rings the purchase without tax. Curious, I kind of looked over the woman's shoulder, and come to find out that she's paying with FOOD STAMPS!!! I have so many problems with this, I don't even know where to start.
1. NO ONE should be allowed to use food stamps at a convenience store. It is WAY too expensive. Is this lady going to run out of stamps by the end of the month and end up at the food bank? Likely. I have patients that are trying to feed a family of 6 with food stamps, and they do run out of money, but they're at least trying to buy food that will sustain their children. 42.80 (minus tax) for 8 cases of soda and two other items comes out to about 7.50 per case of soda. Seriously? When Kroger has buy one, get one free at 4 dollars a case??? Why is this allowed to happen?
2. SODA??? SERIOUSLY???? Now, in their defense, the food stamp program doesn't allow cigarettes or alcohol to be purchased on the cards. Instead, people buy cases of soda, then sell them to their friends for cash to buy the cigarettes and beer. It's a little harder now because it used to be that they would just sell the stamps themselves. Now, with the declining balance card, they actually have to purchase something and resell it to make any cash for ciggys. Aside from that, soda IS NOT FOOD!!!! It is horrible for children - it rots their teeth and makes them obese. It sucks calcium from their bones and replaces nourishing water. Plus, all but 2 cases were caffeinated. So, assuming that this woman had kids, they are probably having trouble in school due to being all sugared and caffienated up. I have seen people give their kids mountain dew at 8:00 at night. Then, they come in and tell me their kids can't sleep and are falling asleep in school. REALLY? Nooooo..... I honestly cannot believe that the food stamp program allows this and actually puts the card reader in convenience stores. With the incredible obesity crisis that we're facing in the nation, the government is allowing people to buy Doritos and pop on their dime. Un-freaking-believable.
3. Ok, so I'm in line behind her as she is ringing up a fortune in pop, and then her husband comes in to start carting the cases out. I think that she is done and try to deftly maneuver my way up to the counter around the mountain of soda, but, OH, she's not done. Next, she takes out her own (hard earned, I'm sure) money to buy 4 packs of cigarettes and 4 lottery tickets. So, now I'm even more miffed because I'm in a hurry, I'm astounded by the flagrant lack of concern about what she is spending the taxpayer's money on, and she's starting another transaction. Wow. Has enough money to buy $6 a pack cigs (name brand, of course- camel ultra lights), but has to buy her pop with the food stamp card.
4. THE KICKER. The woman raised her arms to stretch when in line and revealed approximately $800 dollars worth of low back art. Seriously. It was one of the nicest tattoos I've ever seen - fairies and lilies and vines from one side of her ample low back to the other. I can only assume it's about $800 worth.
Wow. I still can't get over it.
So, I was plenty irritated when I got through the line. Then, Phil called and told me that the suddenlink guy was at the house and waiting for me. I had to deliver the kids to piano and pick them up, make dinner, and make it to girl scouts by 6:15, so I was rushed. I asked Phil to stop on his way home and pick me up some white wine. Unfortunately, I called him from my nephew's phone at piano, then left and went home to get my phone. I went home to meet the suddenlink guy. I got even more frustrated because the guy had to go through my house, and as he was doing so, I kept having to move all of the crap that Phil has never put away (i.e., guns, tools, fishing poles - in my DINING ROOM) and I had to move out the couches which had dust bunnies the size of the dog behind them. So, I was embarrassed, irritated, and rushed. We all know that this is NOT a good combination.
About 40 minutes later, Phil texted back to my nephew's phone, not knowing that I was no longer using it. He said, "pinot grigio?" My nephew (or his mother) did not know that he was texting me, so they said, "How about a nice Chianti?" Then they had a little Silence of the Lambs banter. In Phil's defense, we've had that banter hundreds of times, so there was no way that he would know it wasn't me on the other end of the line. (And, I must admit, that if my nephew knows that movie, I'm a little worried.) So, Phil comes home at 6:15 with 4 bottles of red wine. I know nothing of these text messages, and I'm already mad because of his stuff everywhere, so Phil is greeted with, "Gee, thanks, hon. I ask for one freaking thing, and you can't even get that right. And, by the way, you are not doing any outside projects this weekend, so don't plan anything - we are going to clean up this damn house so our kids aren't living in a pig sty. And, don't expect me home right away from scouts because I have to go out and get my own damn wine because you couldn't even get the right kind!"
I'm so embarrassed. Poor Phil. Have I mentioned that he's a saint and the best husband in the whole wide universe????
He sputtered a little. He was SOOO confused. He didn't have time to explain about the texts because I had to go to girl scouts. When I got home, he had moved his guns, boxes, and fishing poles, and had his phone ready to show me that he was not, in fact, screwing up, but following what looked like a conversation with me.
Actually, it would have been a comical situation if I hadn't have been insane when it happened.
I've never claimed to be easy to live with. Luckily, Phil can handle me. He will say that he has his own issues that are hard to live with, so we even each other out. I think he got the short end of the stick sometimes....but we love each other more and more every day, and that's really all that matters.
As always,
Dr. Mindy
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Ahhh...the terror and the joy
Well, I finally got out of town for a night this weekend. Well deserved and VERY needed. I need to leave at least once a month in order to get away from the constant reminders of everything I need to do at the house. I can never really relax at my house because there's always laundry to do, dishes to be done, straightening to be done, then there's the bigger projects....
So, we went to Tyson's Corner this Friday afternoon and had an absolutely wonderful time.
Let me rewind a little.
For Christmas, Phil bought me a car. It was a very sweet gesture. Great thought, poor execution. It was a SAAB 900 convertible - 1995. He even traded his Bradley GT for it. (Everyone say "Awww") The problem is, it was a total piece of crap. The seats were rotted, truly. The paint was so flat that even with a full detail, it looked like it had gone through a sandblaster. The engine wasn't really great. The shocks and struts needed replaced. The power seats, mirrors, and seat heaters didn't work. The dashboard lights wouldn't stay on and I had to drive with my left hand on the dashboard toggling the switch to keep the lights on after dark. The stereo didn't work. When you shut the doors, the windows didn't match up, so it constantly pulled air. When I turned the wheel left, it changed the radio station. BUT it ran and the convertible top worked. The gas mileage was better than my Expy, and it was easy to park, so I figured I'd drive it for a couple of years and trade up. Until two weeks ago.... We'd already changed the latches on the convertible top (to the tune of 350 dollars), and then the motor went out on the top. Now, our guy (who's amazing, by the way - Automedic in Elkins - Mark Lentz) said he could easily replace the motor and it would cost less than the darn latches. I was DONE, though. I put my foot down and said, "I love you babe, and I appreciate the gesture, but that's it." The convertible top was the ONLY reason I was driving the darn thing and I couldn't do it anymore. The car was going to nickel and dime us to death.
Off to Fairfax! We looked online and found several dealerships with convertibles less than 10,000 dollars that we could trade this heap for. We went and looked at a few different places. There was a Volvo that I really liked, but, wow. What a place. We went to the "dealer" in Manassas, VA. When we got there, it was in the back of a cluster of these really large metal buildings that housed a few dealerships. Very shady looking in their own right, this place wasn't even one of them. It was a small office with no real lot - the cars were parked in front of the building and in a warehouse in the back. So, we take the thing for a test drive and first thing, the check oil light comes on. Then the AC doesn't work. Then, as I'm driving, the speed drops three times down to 30 on it's own - can we say "bad transmission"? When I took it back, I told them no deal because it had a bad transmission, and they were appalled, then they said they'd fix it for us. Um, no.
Long story even longer, we ended up going to Fairfax Auto Gallery and bought a 2002 BMW 330Ci convertible in really nice shape. Everything seems to work (knock on wood). We went out for Mexican food, then back to the hotel.
The next day, we met some of Phil's high school friends at a Dim Sum restaurant and had a great time with them. Great people - I hope we can see them more often. Plus, Matt's Duck House near Vienna, VA, is AMAZING!!! Great Peking Duck.
So, the terror comes in now. We were following the Garmin home. Normally, there is a bit of corridor H that we follow to Moorefield, then get off and take smaller roads back home. This time, it was extended. Now, Corridor H is supposed to go to Elkins eventually, so we figured we'd follow it as far as it went and see where we ended up. (Note to readers, the BMW is rear wheel drive, and it does not have great tires on it right now.) So, we followed the road, and, even now I'm not sure where it ended up. Somewhere about 30 miles from Davis, Thomas, and Mt. Storm. The Garmin tells us to take a left on some road that leads to Dolly Sods, and we didn't because last time the Garmin was navigating us in rural WV, we had the now second most terrifying driving experience of our life involving the Expedition on a 4 wheeler track with no way to turn around. (At one point, I had the left wheels on the side of a mountain so that the right wheels could stay on the road with a 10 foot drop off the right side of the vehicle. Here's the the 4wd capability of the Expy!). So, we didn't follow the Garmin. Bad idea.
We ended up going to Mt. Storm, and it started to snow. We made it to Thomas, and then things got REALLY bad. I've never been so terrified in my life. It had been warmer in the daytime, so when we got to the top of the mountain, we were driving in pea soup fog and driving snow. We could only see, literally, about three feet in front of our car. We couldn't stop because the visibility was so low and the roads were so bad that if someone came up on us, they'd never be able to stop. At one point, there was a tree across the road, and we didn't see it until we were about 4 feet from it. Honestly, it was like a BMW commercial. Phil swerved and narrowly avoided hitting the tree. The car handled great. Phil was driving because, as a Texas girl, I've never driven a RWD car in the snow. Thank God. Anyhow, it took us an hour to drive the 16 miles from Thomas to Parsons. It was THE most harrowing drive I've ever experienced in my life. I'm surprised that I didn't put a hole in the floorboards with my "imaginary brake".
We made it to Parsons, and a guy at the Sheetz station tells us that earlier in the day, that road had been closed because of so many accidents because the state road vehicles hadn't been able to even get up there. In fact, we saw one stopped before it got really bad.
So, we grabbed a snack at Sheetz. (Diet be damned at this point, I needed something to destress me!)
Got home at 9:30 last night.
It's a nod to the car that we didn't wreck on that mountain.
Phil said he was really worried about messing up my new car. I told him that I knew that, and that I wanted to say, "I don't care if you wreck as long as you try to keep us safe," but I didn't know how to say that and not jinx us, so I didn't. He laughed. I laughed. I had a glass of wine and we breathed a big sigh of relief.
BTW, I LOVE the new car, and I'm so glad that our guardian angel was on duty last night.
Cheers!
Dr. Mindy
So, we went to Tyson's Corner this Friday afternoon and had an absolutely wonderful time.
Let me rewind a little.
For Christmas, Phil bought me a car. It was a very sweet gesture. Great thought, poor execution. It was a SAAB 900 convertible - 1995. He even traded his Bradley GT for it. (Everyone say "Awww") The problem is, it was a total piece of crap. The seats were rotted, truly. The paint was so flat that even with a full detail, it looked like it had gone through a sandblaster. The engine wasn't really great. The shocks and struts needed replaced. The power seats, mirrors, and seat heaters didn't work. The dashboard lights wouldn't stay on and I had to drive with my left hand on the dashboard toggling the switch to keep the lights on after dark. The stereo didn't work. When you shut the doors, the windows didn't match up, so it constantly pulled air. When I turned the wheel left, it changed the radio station. BUT it ran and the convertible top worked. The gas mileage was better than my Expy, and it was easy to park, so I figured I'd drive it for a couple of years and trade up. Until two weeks ago.... We'd already changed the latches on the convertible top (to the tune of 350 dollars), and then the motor went out on the top. Now, our guy (who's amazing, by the way - Automedic in Elkins - Mark Lentz) said he could easily replace the motor and it would cost less than the darn latches. I was DONE, though. I put my foot down and said, "I love you babe, and I appreciate the gesture, but that's it." The convertible top was the ONLY reason I was driving the darn thing and I couldn't do it anymore. The car was going to nickel and dime us to death.
Off to Fairfax! We looked online and found several dealerships with convertibles less than 10,000 dollars that we could trade this heap for. We went and looked at a few different places. There was a Volvo that I really liked, but, wow. What a place. We went to the "dealer" in Manassas, VA. When we got there, it was in the back of a cluster of these really large metal buildings that housed a few dealerships. Very shady looking in their own right, this place wasn't even one of them. It was a small office with no real lot - the cars were parked in front of the building and in a warehouse in the back. So, we take the thing for a test drive and first thing, the check oil light comes on. Then the AC doesn't work. Then, as I'm driving, the speed drops three times down to 30 on it's own - can we say "bad transmission"? When I took it back, I told them no deal because it had a bad transmission, and they were appalled, then they said they'd fix it for us. Um, no.
Long story even longer, we ended up going to Fairfax Auto Gallery and bought a 2002 BMW 330Ci convertible in really nice shape. Everything seems to work (knock on wood). We went out for Mexican food, then back to the hotel.
The next day, we met some of Phil's high school friends at a Dim Sum restaurant and had a great time with them. Great people - I hope we can see them more often. Plus, Matt's Duck House near Vienna, VA, is AMAZING!!! Great Peking Duck.
So, the terror comes in now. We were following the Garmin home. Normally, there is a bit of corridor H that we follow to Moorefield, then get off and take smaller roads back home. This time, it was extended. Now, Corridor H is supposed to go to Elkins eventually, so we figured we'd follow it as far as it went and see where we ended up. (Note to readers, the BMW is rear wheel drive, and it does not have great tires on it right now.) So, we followed the road, and, even now I'm not sure where it ended up. Somewhere about 30 miles from Davis, Thomas, and Mt. Storm. The Garmin tells us to take a left on some road that leads to Dolly Sods, and we didn't because last time the Garmin was navigating us in rural WV, we had the now second most terrifying driving experience of our life involving the Expedition on a 4 wheeler track with no way to turn around. (At one point, I had the left wheels on the side of a mountain so that the right wheels could stay on the road with a 10 foot drop off the right side of the vehicle. Here's the the 4wd capability of the Expy!). So, we didn't follow the Garmin. Bad idea.
We ended up going to Mt. Storm, and it started to snow. We made it to Thomas, and then things got REALLY bad. I've never been so terrified in my life. It had been warmer in the daytime, so when we got to the top of the mountain, we were driving in pea soup fog and driving snow. We could only see, literally, about three feet in front of our car. We couldn't stop because the visibility was so low and the roads were so bad that if someone came up on us, they'd never be able to stop. At one point, there was a tree across the road, and we didn't see it until we were about 4 feet from it. Honestly, it was like a BMW commercial. Phil swerved and narrowly avoided hitting the tree. The car handled great. Phil was driving because, as a Texas girl, I've never driven a RWD car in the snow. Thank God. Anyhow, it took us an hour to drive the 16 miles from Thomas to Parsons. It was THE most harrowing drive I've ever experienced in my life. I'm surprised that I didn't put a hole in the floorboards with my "imaginary brake".
We made it to Parsons, and a guy at the Sheetz station tells us that earlier in the day, that road had been closed because of so many accidents because the state road vehicles hadn't been able to even get up there. In fact, we saw one stopped before it got really bad.
So, we grabbed a snack at Sheetz. (Diet be damned at this point, I needed something to destress me!)
Got home at 9:30 last night.
It's a nod to the car that we didn't wreck on that mountain.
Phil said he was really worried about messing up my new car. I told him that I knew that, and that I wanted to say, "I don't care if you wreck as long as you try to keep us safe," but I didn't know how to say that and not jinx us, so I didn't. He laughed. I laughed. I had a glass of wine and we breathed a big sigh of relief.
BTW, I LOVE the new car, and I'm so glad that our guardian angel was on duty last night.
Cheers!
Dr. Mindy
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
recipes
Well,
First off, I want to say, wow! Thank you to everyone who posted comments on facebook and here, and thank you to those who sent me messages privately. Depression is incredibly pervasive in our society and I'm glad that this blog gave some people the springboard to discuss it. Hopefully this will help someone. If it's not helping you, maybe it will help you to understand someone you love a little better.
Anyhow, I've gotten some requests for recipes that I've been making, so I thought I'd put a few on the blog today.
I'm feeling better - coming out of my fog a little- and my creative juices are flowing again! Tonight, I made grouper with Thai green curry, mushrooms, and ramps. For those of you that are not from WV, ramps are a native wild onion. They taste wonderful, but smell SOOO bad. Kids sometimes get sent home from school after eating them because the gas can clean the room. Why do we eat them? I guess because we can! They are remarkably mild and tasty.
To make this, I took three fillets of frozen grouper out. I sauteed the ramps and mushrooms in 1 tablespoon of lemon infused olive oil in an oven ready everyday pan. Then, I added light coconut milk (1/2 can) and some Thai green curry paste (you can get both of these ingredients in the Asian section of your local grocery store). I put the frozen fish fillets in the mixture and put the pan in the oven at 400 degrees for 24 minutes. If you are lean and green, serve with a large green salad. If not, serve over 1/2 cup of brown rice and a side of greens (spinach would complement this nicely).
Next, I've had a request for my taco salad recipe. It's embarrassingly simple. I use ground meat (whatever I have lying around - it's best with goat, by the way). One pound and mix it with low sodium taco seasoning. Cook the meat, drain it (if it needs drained), and set it aside. Then, I layer romaine lettuce, fresh cilantro, tomatoes, and 1/2 of a chopped avocado (optional - not part of lean and green, but very creamy and makes you forget that there's no cheese). I add the meat and dress with pickled jalapenos and salsa. REALLY freakin good!
The next one is the kimchi seafood soup. Also, painfully simple. I got mixed random seafood (paella mix) from Sam's. The stock is made with clam juice (available at any grocery store) (3-4 jars) plus a little chicken broth (can do all clam juice, but it's kind of expensive. I stretch it with the chicken broth). Then, add a little bit of ginger - I like the stuff in tubes from Kroger - easier. Probably about 2-3 tablespoons. Then, add some fish sauce (1 tablespoon) (This you'll have to get from an Asian grocery, and you can use soy sauce if you had to.) Chop up one whole head of napa cabbage or 2-3 small heads of bok choy. Add two small jars of kimchi or more, depending on how spicy you want it. Once the cabbage cooks down, add the seafood (about 1/2 of the big bag from Sam's) and simmer until the seafood isn't frozen anymore. It's an easy end of a long day soup and it's really filling and satisfying. If you're not doing lean and green, you could add some buckwheat noodles to it (soba) - That would be GREAT!!!
I like to make shrimp salads a lot, too. I cook the shrimp in old bay and beer, peel it, then put it on salad with some sort of fresh veggies like green beans, radishes, etc, then dress with some lemon olive oil and fig balsamic. You can do the same thing with pre cooked chicken breast just for a quickie dinner.
The other things I'm planning on trying is spaghetti squash with meatballs. I bought some turkey meatballs. You cut the spaghetti squash in half lengthwise, brush with olive oil and bake in the oven for 30 minutes at 350. You don't want to overcook, so keep an eye on it. Take it out, let it cool a little, then scrape the inside out in strands. It has the texture of spaghetti, so you can use it like that. Then, get some spaghetti sauce and simmer the meatballs in it and serve it over the pasta. Sounds good to me. We'll see.
Also, I am going to take the precooked chicken chunks (Tyson's or Schwans), bake them in the oven, then cover with wing sauce and serve over a salad with lots of celery and some spray blue cheese dressing. Deconstructed hot wings! :-)
That's all I can think of right now. I'm glad to be feeling better. Couldn't have happened at a better time as my whole family is sick right now. I get to be the caretaker, and I'm not sure I could have last week.
Enjoy the week!
Dr. Mindy
First off, I want to say, wow! Thank you to everyone who posted comments on facebook and here, and thank you to those who sent me messages privately. Depression is incredibly pervasive in our society and I'm glad that this blog gave some people the springboard to discuss it. Hopefully this will help someone. If it's not helping you, maybe it will help you to understand someone you love a little better.
Anyhow, I've gotten some requests for recipes that I've been making, so I thought I'd put a few on the blog today.
I'm feeling better - coming out of my fog a little- and my creative juices are flowing again! Tonight, I made grouper with Thai green curry, mushrooms, and ramps. For those of you that are not from WV, ramps are a native wild onion. They taste wonderful, but smell SOOO bad. Kids sometimes get sent home from school after eating them because the gas can clean the room. Why do we eat them? I guess because we can! They are remarkably mild and tasty.
To make this, I took three fillets of frozen grouper out. I sauteed the ramps and mushrooms in 1 tablespoon of lemon infused olive oil in an oven ready everyday pan. Then, I added light coconut milk (1/2 can) and some Thai green curry paste (you can get both of these ingredients in the Asian section of your local grocery store). I put the frozen fish fillets in the mixture and put the pan in the oven at 400 degrees for 24 minutes. If you are lean and green, serve with a large green salad. If not, serve over 1/2 cup of brown rice and a side of greens (spinach would complement this nicely).
Next, I've had a request for my taco salad recipe. It's embarrassingly simple. I use ground meat (whatever I have lying around - it's best with goat, by the way). One pound and mix it with low sodium taco seasoning. Cook the meat, drain it (if it needs drained), and set it aside. Then, I layer romaine lettuce, fresh cilantro, tomatoes, and 1/2 of a chopped avocado (optional - not part of lean and green, but very creamy and makes you forget that there's no cheese). I add the meat and dress with pickled jalapenos and salsa. REALLY freakin good!
The next one is the kimchi seafood soup. Also, painfully simple. I got mixed random seafood (paella mix) from Sam's. The stock is made with clam juice (available at any grocery store) (3-4 jars) plus a little chicken broth (can do all clam juice, but it's kind of expensive. I stretch it with the chicken broth). Then, add a little bit of ginger - I like the stuff in tubes from Kroger - easier. Probably about 2-3 tablespoons. Then, add some fish sauce (1 tablespoon) (This you'll have to get from an Asian grocery, and you can use soy sauce if you had to.) Chop up one whole head of napa cabbage or 2-3 small heads of bok choy. Add two small jars of kimchi or more, depending on how spicy you want it. Once the cabbage cooks down, add the seafood (about 1/2 of the big bag from Sam's) and simmer until the seafood isn't frozen anymore. It's an easy end of a long day soup and it's really filling and satisfying. If you're not doing lean and green, you could add some buckwheat noodles to it (soba) - That would be GREAT!!!
I like to make shrimp salads a lot, too. I cook the shrimp in old bay and beer, peel it, then put it on salad with some sort of fresh veggies like green beans, radishes, etc, then dress with some lemon olive oil and fig balsamic. You can do the same thing with pre cooked chicken breast just for a quickie dinner.
The other things I'm planning on trying is spaghetti squash with meatballs. I bought some turkey meatballs. You cut the spaghetti squash in half lengthwise, brush with olive oil and bake in the oven for 30 minutes at 350. You don't want to overcook, so keep an eye on it. Take it out, let it cool a little, then scrape the inside out in strands. It has the texture of spaghetti, so you can use it like that. Then, get some spaghetti sauce and simmer the meatballs in it and serve it over the pasta. Sounds good to me. We'll see.
Also, I am going to take the precooked chicken chunks (Tyson's or Schwans), bake them in the oven, then cover with wing sauce and serve over a salad with lots of celery and some spray blue cheese dressing. Deconstructed hot wings! :-)
That's all I can think of right now. I'm glad to be feeling better. Couldn't have happened at a better time as my whole family is sick right now. I get to be the caretaker, and I'm not sure I could have last week.
Enjoy the week!
Dr. Mindy
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Depression....
This has been a long week.
For those of you who don't know, I struggle with depression. It has really gotten the best of me this week. I think it's been coming for some time, but this week was a culmination of a few weeks of niggling episodes.
Many people think that depression is a state of mind. I disagree. If it was, I'd never be depressed. I have a job that I actually like, I own a business, I have two great kids and a husband to die for. I live on a gorgeous farm, I have an amazing, supportive, extended family. I have sincerely wonderful friends and tons of rewarding activities in my life. Believe me, I don't have a THING to be depressed about. This is the reason that I firmly believe that depression is a biochemical process not unlike hypertension, diabetes, or other medical issues.
Certainly, it does seem that my depression is worse when weather changes, or when I stop exercising, or when my diet gets bad again. The latter, though, I haven't quite figured out if they are a symptom or a cause.
When I'm in a depressed state, I have much shorter patience. I know that this affects my family, and that absolutely kills me. Of course, that makes me feel worse, and then things will spiral out of control. Often, I end up sleeping a lot more, or reading a lot more - anything to close myself off from everyone. It's all I can do to go to work and try to help others with their myriad of medical and psychiatric issues. When I'm in my episodes, I just can't do much more when I get home.
It's during these times that my various activities tend to fall apart as well. I forget to plan or plan for meetings, classes, practices - or I forget them altogether. I forget to pay bills, and my checking account goes haywire. I don't straighten up the house. I forget to help the kids with homework, and I don't read or sing to them at night because I'm usually in bed before they are. I feel like I can't see colors during these times. Everything is varying shades of gray. I don't realize that I'm seeing like that until I finally "snap out of it." It's become so common that now when I think something looks really beautiful and colorful, I automatically think to myself, "Hmm...have I been depressed?" I usually don't know when it's really bad.
This is not a new problem for me. Anxiety and depression are closely linked. Both relate to low levels of serotonin, melatonin, and norepinepherine in the brain. I distinctly remember being 4-5 years old and not being able to sleep at night because I was afraid the Russians were going to attack us. My mother wouldn't let me watch the news or the movie, The Day After, because she new I wouldn't be able to sleep. I watched a show about Nostradamus in high school, and afterwards had the first real "panic attack" that I can recall. We didn't know at the time what it was, and I was often treated for asthma. I was in the shower, and all of a sudden couldn't breathe. I went to my parent's room and turned on their ceiling fan, laid on the bed gasping for air and trying to calm down. It was the first of many of those attacks. Funny, they would give me prednisone. Um, that didn't help.
As I've aged, the anxiety continues, but it is under much better control with medication. Still, I have moments when Phil is late from work, or the kids haven't called when they were supposed to, that I go into full panic mode. I can't think, "Oh, he's just running late." Instead, my mind makes up scenarios that are so abhorrent that I can't even blog about them. By the time he gets home, I'm screaming at him for not calling - not because I really care if he called or not, but because I've spent the last 20 minutes convinced he's dead in a ditch from a gunshot wound from a deranged ex-patient. Really. Over the years, Phil has come to understand this about me and does not often let me go very long without knowing that he's OK. It makes he love him all the more that he accepts that about me and goes to lengths to make sure that I don't get too worked up.
My kids, though, also suffer through all of this. Emma and I have had very frank discussions about my depression. I try not to blame any of my actions on it. I've told Emma time and time again that everyone has something, and it's no excuse for anything. We all have the ability to rise above our "somethings" and make better people of ourselves. I've explained to her that although I try to keep it all in check, sometimes it gets the better of me, and I just have to work through it. She seems to understand. Unfortunately, for her, it seems to have travelled down our family tree right into her lap as well. I think she understands because she deals with it as well.
Emma is 10, and she, also, has been unable to sleep since she was about 6 because of "bad thoughts". Her fingernails are bitten to the quick, and she twitches a lot. She has pretty wild mood swings, too. People tell me it's because she's a girl, and that's true to an extent, but it's more than that. She cries sometimes or gets really angry, and she can't figure out why. Also, unfortunately for Emma, she has to contend with major blood sugar swings as well as hormones and genetics. It's gonna be a long 10 years for all of us, I think. :-)
Lee is such a happy - go - lucky kid, that he really doesn't seem to be much affected by all of this. He just continues to go on smiling. I'm not sure where he gets his persona from. Phil is more reserved, and also struggles with depression somewhat, so the happy kid that Lee is is just a blessing, I guess! He does get pretty angry when he gets angry, but that's not very often.
I take my 5,000 units of vitamin D, my PMS vitamins, my Effexor, and a slew of other supplements on a daily basis. I try to rely on my husband and my amazing children to see me through these episodes. I pray sometimes about it. I've tried counseling, but it's very difficult for a medical professional to see another medical professional, and as I've said, I don't really have any issues to discuss that I know of - just a chemical imbalance. I do what I can to pull myself out of it so that my family doesn't have to deal with me like that for any longer than needed. So, if you know me, and you come across me sometime either as your doctor or as your friend, and I'm not putting myself out there for you like I normally do, don't take it personally. Remember, even doctors have something. My something is depression and sometimes it gets the best of me. Most of the time, I'm just happy Mindy. I guess we can all live with that.
Dr. Mindy
For those of you who don't know, I struggle with depression. It has really gotten the best of me this week. I think it's been coming for some time, but this week was a culmination of a few weeks of niggling episodes.
Many people think that depression is a state of mind. I disagree. If it was, I'd never be depressed. I have a job that I actually like, I own a business, I have two great kids and a husband to die for. I live on a gorgeous farm, I have an amazing, supportive, extended family. I have sincerely wonderful friends and tons of rewarding activities in my life. Believe me, I don't have a THING to be depressed about. This is the reason that I firmly believe that depression is a biochemical process not unlike hypertension, diabetes, or other medical issues.
Certainly, it does seem that my depression is worse when weather changes, or when I stop exercising, or when my diet gets bad again. The latter, though, I haven't quite figured out if they are a symptom or a cause.
When I'm in a depressed state, I have much shorter patience. I know that this affects my family, and that absolutely kills me. Of course, that makes me feel worse, and then things will spiral out of control. Often, I end up sleeping a lot more, or reading a lot more - anything to close myself off from everyone. It's all I can do to go to work and try to help others with their myriad of medical and psychiatric issues. When I'm in my episodes, I just can't do much more when I get home.
It's during these times that my various activities tend to fall apart as well. I forget to plan or plan for meetings, classes, practices - or I forget them altogether. I forget to pay bills, and my checking account goes haywire. I don't straighten up the house. I forget to help the kids with homework, and I don't read or sing to them at night because I'm usually in bed before they are. I feel like I can't see colors during these times. Everything is varying shades of gray. I don't realize that I'm seeing like that until I finally "snap out of it." It's become so common that now when I think something looks really beautiful and colorful, I automatically think to myself, "Hmm...have I been depressed?" I usually don't know when it's really bad.
This is not a new problem for me. Anxiety and depression are closely linked. Both relate to low levels of serotonin, melatonin, and norepinepherine in the brain. I distinctly remember being 4-5 years old and not being able to sleep at night because I was afraid the Russians were going to attack us. My mother wouldn't let me watch the news or the movie, The Day After, because she new I wouldn't be able to sleep. I watched a show about Nostradamus in high school, and afterwards had the first real "panic attack" that I can recall. We didn't know at the time what it was, and I was often treated for asthma. I was in the shower, and all of a sudden couldn't breathe. I went to my parent's room and turned on their ceiling fan, laid on the bed gasping for air and trying to calm down. It was the first of many of those attacks. Funny, they would give me prednisone. Um, that didn't help.
As I've aged, the anxiety continues, but it is under much better control with medication. Still, I have moments when Phil is late from work, or the kids haven't called when they were supposed to, that I go into full panic mode. I can't think, "Oh, he's just running late." Instead, my mind makes up scenarios that are so abhorrent that I can't even blog about them. By the time he gets home, I'm screaming at him for not calling - not because I really care if he called or not, but because I've spent the last 20 minutes convinced he's dead in a ditch from a gunshot wound from a deranged ex-patient. Really. Over the years, Phil has come to understand this about me and does not often let me go very long without knowing that he's OK. It makes he love him all the more that he accepts that about me and goes to lengths to make sure that I don't get too worked up.
My kids, though, also suffer through all of this. Emma and I have had very frank discussions about my depression. I try not to blame any of my actions on it. I've told Emma time and time again that everyone has something, and it's no excuse for anything. We all have the ability to rise above our "somethings" and make better people of ourselves. I've explained to her that although I try to keep it all in check, sometimes it gets the better of me, and I just have to work through it. She seems to understand. Unfortunately, for her, it seems to have travelled down our family tree right into her lap as well. I think she understands because she deals with it as well.
Emma is 10, and she, also, has been unable to sleep since she was about 6 because of "bad thoughts". Her fingernails are bitten to the quick, and she twitches a lot. She has pretty wild mood swings, too. People tell me it's because she's a girl, and that's true to an extent, but it's more than that. She cries sometimes or gets really angry, and she can't figure out why. Also, unfortunately for Emma, she has to contend with major blood sugar swings as well as hormones and genetics. It's gonna be a long 10 years for all of us, I think. :-)
Lee is such a happy - go - lucky kid, that he really doesn't seem to be much affected by all of this. He just continues to go on smiling. I'm not sure where he gets his persona from. Phil is more reserved, and also struggles with depression somewhat, so the happy kid that Lee is is just a blessing, I guess! He does get pretty angry when he gets angry, but that's not very often.
I take my 5,000 units of vitamin D, my PMS vitamins, my Effexor, and a slew of other supplements on a daily basis. I try to rely on my husband and my amazing children to see me through these episodes. I pray sometimes about it. I've tried counseling, but it's very difficult for a medical professional to see another medical professional, and as I've said, I don't really have any issues to discuss that I know of - just a chemical imbalance. I do what I can to pull myself out of it so that my family doesn't have to deal with me like that for any longer than needed. So, if you know me, and you come across me sometime either as your doctor or as your friend, and I'm not putting myself out there for you like I normally do, don't take it personally. Remember, even doctors have something. My something is depression and sometimes it gets the best of me. Most of the time, I'm just happy Mindy. I guess we can all live with that.
Dr. Mindy
Monday, March 21, 2011
The woes of dieting
Cheating is such a slippery slope. I don't mean on your spouse, although it's probably the same idea. Just a little somethin/somethin here, then a little more there, then a "well, just this once with the BIG thing" and I'll be faithful, I SWEAR!!!
Phil and I had the big cheat (again, not on each other) a couple of weeks ago at Madeline's. (My stomach growls and my mouth becomes drenched in saliva just saying the name.) We really had a great time, but I have had a helluva time getting back to strict dieting.
This same thing happened to us with P90X. Yes, Phil and I were once "Bringing it" together. (Now, seriously folks, enough with the innuendos...) Unfortunately, on week number 4 or 5, Phil had a shaving accident. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you heard me right. A very good friend around here makes the most incredible goats milk products. For Phil's birthday, she made him goats milk shaving cream - the hard stuff that you need a brush to lather. She makes the stuff then lets it set in various cups, bowls, etc. The one that Phil had was in a very spartan coffee cup. He used it all the time. Phil, though, shaves in the shower. One fateful morning, he accidentally dropped said cup and it shattered and actually severed a tendon in his foot. Once it was over, it was kind of funny. Well, at least I laughed...
Bottom line, we had to stop P90X for several months while he healed. When he was finally able to get back on track, we discussed going back on P90X, but, unfortunately, we were not going into it with blinders on as we did when we first started. Instead, we knew full well what kind of torture we were in for, and, well, we just couldn't bring ourselves to do it. It's just so much easier to face the evil that you don't know in those situations. When we started P90X, we were thinking, "Now, this can't be THAT bad - it's a video for gawdsakes." Once we got started, our doctor's pride (stupidity?) got in the way so we HAD to finish. When we had to restart, though, we were able to just say things like, "Oh, why not sleep in today?" Or, "Emma is so comfortable in the bed, we REALLY shouldn't disturb her." So, now I sit here on my recumbent bike, calmly typing away as I peddle - quite a step down from P90X. That being said, 2 months ago, I would have been polishing off a bottle of wine on the couch, so I guess I'm somewhere in between.
Going back to cheating on the diet...
So, we had this great meal, and being a consummate foodie, I haven't thought about much else since. For a while, we were preparing spectacular Lean and Green meals, and this offset the sting of the foodie cravings a little, but we've been too busy lately to do much of that. I think we need to get back to that and I'd feel a lot better. The illness and menstruation didn't help much either. I truly believe that I needed a few more calories during that time, but I did it in stupid ways. I should have increased some of my protein and veered clear of increasing carbs. Live and learn.
As for cooking more fabulous meals, I'm really trying. Soccer season is starting and Phil and I are both coaching. Of course, I'm still a den leader in scouts as well. Plus, Phil has a lot of hospital weeks in the next couple of months due to some vacations. We've got stuff going on every night of the week. I hope I can figure out some amazing, really fast food. I'm thinking deconstructed taco salads, roasted chicken chunks in wing sauce, turkey burgers on lettuce, and maybe some ground goat curry in the next few days. I should be able to do that. I'm always trying, and I fall as much as the next guy, I just need to get myself back up. That's why I'm on the bike, not in the wine!
I don't know if it's because I'm neurotic, or because I'm a doctor, or if everyone feels this way, but I really feel a lot of pressure to do well in this. After all, I am selling the product. I'm also trying to get people to change their eating habits and lives for the better with or without medifast. I feel like if I stumble and fall than that will give the people that I'm trying to help incentive to stumble and fall as well. Like, "Well, Dr. Mindy went out and went off the diet, so I can too!" It's a difficult paradigm because on one hand, I want to be honest for the people that are struggling, and on the other hand, I am really struggling too. I think it's a typical mommy thing. Be strong for everyone else, and melt down in private.
I guess the bottom line that I need to emphasize, though, is how damn difficult it is to get back on track once you've jumped it. Like I said, a little here, a little there, it adds up. And, I haven't lost a pound in 2 weeks because of my indiscretions. The plan estimates 2-5 lbs a week weight loss, and I'm not achieving it because I'm slipping. So, I guess, do as I say not as I do. (Yet another mommy-ism :-) )
(Oh, and I feel I have to mention for those who are interested, that right now my but feels like pop corn. I'm getting all kinds of minuscule spasms from my stint on the bike. Just thought I'd share.)
Tonight's dinner, by the way, was pretty awesome! A patient brought us some trout fillets that he caught Friday. Phil smoked them lightly yesterday with just a little lemon pepper. I put them on a salad with lemon olive oil tonight and it ROCKED!
Oddly, when writing this blog, I got pinged by a friend/patient who just started on medifast. She said, "Woohoo!!! I am loving this diet - lost 10 lbs!" It's probably water weight, but what do I care? I feel GOOD!!! Love you, Dr. Mindy!"
It's all good. You've got to love hearing that!
I hope that no one gets upset and calls me out because I'm complaining about the woes of dieting in the midst of bombing Libya and such. i try to focus on my daily tasks at hand. I'm much too neurotic to focus on much else. Obviously, those people just don't know how to set priorities...duh!
(JUST KIDDING PEOPLE!!!)
Dr. Mindy
Phil and I had the big cheat (again, not on each other) a couple of weeks ago at Madeline's. (My stomach growls and my mouth becomes drenched in saliva just saying the name.) We really had a great time, but I have had a helluva time getting back to strict dieting.
This same thing happened to us with P90X. Yes, Phil and I were once "Bringing it" together. (Now, seriously folks, enough with the innuendos...) Unfortunately, on week number 4 or 5, Phil had a shaving accident. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you heard me right. A very good friend around here makes the most incredible goats milk products. For Phil's birthday, she made him goats milk shaving cream - the hard stuff that you need a brush to lather. She makes the stuff then lets it set in various cups, bowls, etc. The one that Phil had was in a very spartan coffee cup. He used it all the time. Phil, though, shaves in the shower. One fateful morning, he accidentally dropped said cup and it shattered and actually severed a tendon in his foot. Once it was over, it was kind of funny. Well, at least I laughed...
Bottom line, we had to stop P90X for several months while he healed. When he was finally able to get back on track, we discussed going back on P90X, but, unfortunately, we were not going into it with blinders on as we did when we first started. Instead, we knew full well what kind of torture we were in for, and, well, we just couldn't bring ourselves to do it. It's just so much easier to face the evil that you don't know in those situations. When we started P90X, we were thinking, "Now, this can't be THAT bad - it's a video for gawdsakes." Once we got started, our doctor's pride (stupidity?) got in the way so we HAD to finish. When we had to restart, though, we were able to just say things like, "Oh, why not sleep in today?" Or, "Emma is so comfortable in the bed, we REALLY shouldn't disturb her." So, now I sit here on my recumbent bike, calmly typing away as I peddle - quite a step down from P90X. That being said, 2 months ago, I would have been polishing off a bottle of wine on the couch, so I guess I'm somewhere in between.
Going back to cheating on the diet...
So, we had this great meal, and being a consummate foodie, I haven't thought about much else since. For a while, we were preparing spectacular Lean and Green meals, and this offset the sting of the foodie cravings a little, but we've been too busy lately to do much of that. I think we need to get back to that and I'd feel a lot better. The illness and menstruation didn't help much either. I truly believe that I needed a few more calories during that time, but I did it in stupid ways. I should have increased some of my protein and veered clear of increasing carbs. Live and learn.
As for cooking more fabulous meals, I'm really trying. Soccer season is starting and Phil and I are both coaching. Of course, I'm still a den leader in scouts as well. Plus, Phil has a lot of hospital weeks in the next couple of months due to some vacations. We've got stuff going on every night of the week. I hope I can figure out some amazing, really fast food. I'm thinking deconstructed taco salads, roasted chicken chunks in wing sauce, turkey burgers on lettuce, and maybe some ground goat curry in the next few days. I should be able to do that. I'm always trying, and I fall as much as the next guy, I just need to get myself back up. That's why I'm on the bike, not in the wine!
I don't know if it's because I'm neurotic, or because I'm a doctor, or if everyone feels this way, but I really feel a lot of pressure to do well in this. After all, I am selling the product. I'm also trying to get people to change their eating habits and lives for the better with or without medifast. I feel like if I stumble and fall than that will give the people that I'm trying to help incentive to stumble and fall as well. Like, "Well, Dr. Mindy went out and went off the diet, so I can too!" It's a difficult paradigm because on one hand, I want to be honest for the people that are struggling, and on the other hand, I am really struggling too. I think it's a typical mommy thing. Be strong for everyone else, and melt down in private.
I guess the bottom line that I need to emphasize, though, is how damn difficult it is to get back on track once you've jumped it. Like I said, a little here, a little there, it adds up. And, I haven't lost a pound in 2 weeks because of my indiscretions. The plan estimates 2-5 lbs a week weight loss, and I'm not achieving it because I'm slipping. So, I guess, do as I say not as I do. (Yet another mommy-ism :-) )
(Oh, and I feel I have to mention for those who are interested, that right now my but feels like pop corn. I'm getting all kinds of minuscule spasms from my stint on the bike. Just thought I'd share.)
Tonight's dinner, by the way, was pretty awesome! A patient brought us some trout fillets that he caught Friday. Phil smoked them lightly yesterday with just a little lemon pepper. I put them on a salad with lemon olive oil tonight and it ROCKED!
Oddly, when writing this blog, I got pinged by a friend/patient who just started on medifast. She said, "Woohoo!!! I am loving this diet - lost 10 lbs!" It's probably water weight, but what do I care? I feel GOOD!!! Love you, Dr. Mindy!"
It's all good. You've got to love hearing that!
I hope that no one gets upset and calls me out because I'm complaining about the woes of dieting in the midst of bombing Libya and such. i try to focus on my daily tasks at hand. I'm much too neurotic to focus on much else. Obviously, those people just don't know how to set priorities...duh!
(JUST KIDDING PEOPLE!!!)
Dr. Mindy
Friday, March 18, 2011
Bringing up the rear
Today has been a wonderful day.
Last night was pretty horrible. Of course, that was a night I chose not to drink wine! Wouldn't you figure? Emma was playing her dsi when we asked her to cover her dinner. She typed in her meal coverage and went on playing. Luckily, she had her continuous glucose monitor on. She had finally agreed to wear it due to the significant excursions she has been having with her sugars lately. So, when we went to bed, she was 390 or something like that, but she had 2 arrows going down meaning that she was falling pretty rapidly. OK, I expected that because she had covered her dinner. 5 minutes later, she was alarming because her fall rate was too rapid. I looked at her sugar, and it was 190. 10 minutes later, she was drenched in sweat, twitchy, and dropped to 80. In the meantime, I had given her 3 juices, 2 cookies, 2 tablespoons of peanut butter, and 2 teaspoons of pure sugar. She felt like she was going to vomit (duh), but we had to keep feeding her. Good news - the whole thing only lasted about 30 minutes. Bad news - it always seems to last 6! So, she finally got her sugar under control and drifted off to sleep. Of course, this was after we had some VERY strong words with her about responsibility for her sugars and NOT playing her dsi when calculating her insulin dose. Phil and I were so wired that we stayed up another 2 hours watching her for any twitches. I have to say, THANK GOD for CGMs!!!! I have no doubt that last night would have been a full fledged seizure if her CGM hadn't alerted us to her fall rate. If you know anyone with a pump whose sugars are a little crazy, PLEASE tell them to get one of those things. All's well that ends well, but I felt like I was due for a nice day.
But, today was a good day. I'm finally feeling better after a week of some weird virus. I had a nice day in clinic today because I got to do my bioidentical hormone replacement. I got my (ever so irritating) soccer practice time moved to Mondays instead of Friday evenings. My dad is sick, but not sick enough to be in the hospital. AND, Phil and I get to go out and see a band at a local restaurant/bar tonight with some friends. The weather is wonderful. Birds are chirping, it's 70 degrees, and the sun is out. I drove around today with my top down and my hair blowing in the wind with my ipod blaring everything from Taylor Swift to Nine Inch Nails..Psychedelic Furs to Rage against the Machine. It was a blast! When I got home, we decided to go for a bike ride with our little bug, Leejay. (Emma is en route to Seven Springs to go play with the ski bunnies this weekend).
Now, I haven't been on a bike for about two years. Phil wanted to go biking on the farm, but I was a little dubious. We settled on going to the neighborhood next to our farm and riding on the paved roads there. Lee was doing great - pumping his little six year old legs up the hills better than my thirty-something legs were doing. It was a wonderful, relaxing afternoon.
"So," you are wondering, "why the title of the blog?"
All my life, I've been an overachiever. Those of you who know me can attest to this. I've never wanted to do anything that I'm not going to be good at. It's a fatal flaw and it has kept me from trying new things. I strive to be the best and to always be at the front of the pack. ( My poor daughter has inherited this trait from me, and I'm working really hard with her to help her overcome it. Seems to be working a little bit - she's skiing after all! )
So, today, here I was riding a bike for the first time in a long while and feeling somewhat nervous about it. Going up one hill, I fell behind my boys and ended up watching them going up the slope. Lee was starting to give up (he, unfortunately, did not inherit that tenacity from me that Emma did :-) ), and I saw Phil say some encouraging words to him. He doubled his efforts and ended up making it up the slope. I was grinning from ear to ear watching my boys biking together with a gentle breeze blowing through my hair and the sun shining on us all. For the first time in my life, I was glad to be bringing up the rear! I'll be last in line in everything if it means being able to watch interchanges like that!
Never fear, I'll always remain an overachiever! But, given the stress we have with Emma's sugars on a day to day basis combined with daily life, work, farming, etc....it was nice to finally just take the back seat and enjoy watching my family enjoy each other. Can't wait for Emma to get home so we can let her in on the fun!
Dr. Mindy
Last night was pretty horrible. Of course, that was a night I chose not to drink wine! Wouldn't you figure? Emma was playing her dsi when we asked her to cover her dinner. She typed in her meal coverage and went on playing. Luckily, she had her continuous glucose monitor on. She had finally agreed to wear it due to the significant excursions she has been having with her sugars lately. So, when we went to bed, she was 390 or something like that, but she had 2 arrows going down meaning that she was falling pretty rapidly. OK, I expected that because she had covered her dinner. 5 minutes later, she was alarming because her fall rate was too rapid. I looked at her sugar, and it was 190. 10 minutes later, she was drenched in sweat, twitchy, and dropped to 80. In the meantime, I had given her 3 juices, 2 cookies, 2 tablespoons of peanut butter, and 2 teaspoons of pure sugar. She felt like she was going to vomit (duh), but we had to keep feeding her. Good news - the whole thing only lasted about 30 minutes. Bad news - it always seems to last 6! So, she finally got her sugar under control and drifted off to sleep. Of course, this was after we had some VERY strong words with her about responsibility for her sugars and NOT playing her dsi when calculating her insulin dose. Phil and I were so wired that we stayed up another 2 hours watching her for any twitches. I have to say, THANK GOD for CGMs!!!! I have no doubt that last night would have been a full fledged seizure if her CGM hadn't alerted us to her fall rate. If you know anyone with a pump whose sugars are a little crazy, PLEASE tell them to get one of those things. All's well that ends well, but I felt like I was due for a nice day.
But, today was a good day. I'm finally feeling better after a week of some weird virus. I had a nice day in clinic today because I got to do my bioidentical hormone replacement. I got my (ever so irritating) soccer practice time moved to Mondays instead of Friday evenings. My dad is sick, but not sick enough to be in the hospital. AND, Phil and I get to go out and see a band at a local restaurant/bar tonight with some friends. The weather is wonderful. Birds are chirping, it's 70 degrees, and the sun is out. I drove around today with my top down and my hair blowing in the wind with my ipod blaring everything from Taylor Swift to Nine Inch Nails..Psychedelic Furs to Rage against the Machine. It was a blast! When I got home, we decided to go for a bike ride with our little bug, Leejay. (Emma is en route to Seven Springs to go play with the ski bunnies this weekend).
Now, I haven't been on a bike for about two years. Phil wanted to go biking on the farm, but I was a little dubious. We settled on going to the neighborhood next to our farm and riding on the paved roads there. Lee was doing great - pumping his little six year old legs up the hills better than my thirty-something legs were doing. It was a wonderful, relaxing afternoon.
"So," you are wondering, "why the title of the blog?"
All my life, I've been an overachiever. Those of you who know me can attest to this. I've never wanted to do anything that I'm not going to be good at. It's a fatal flaw and it has kept me from trying new things. I strive to be the best and to always be at the front of the pack. ( My poor daughter has inherited this trait from me, and I'm working really hard with her to help her overcome it. Seems to be working a little bit - she's skiing after all! )
So, today, here I was riding a bike for the first time in a long while and feeling somewhat nervous about it. Going up one hill, I fell behind my boys and ended up watching them going up the slope. Lee was starting to give up (he, unfortunately, did not inherit that tenacity from me that Emma did :-) ), and I saw Phil say some encouraging words to him. He doubled his efforts and ended up making it up the slope. I was grinning from ear to ear watching my boys biking together with a gentle breeze blowing through my hair and the sun shining on us all. For the first time in my life, I was glad to be bringing up the rear! I'll be last in line in everything if it means being able to watch interchanges like that!
Never fear, I'll always remain an overachiever! But, given the stress we have with Emma's sugars on a day to day basis combined with daily life, work, farming, etc....it was nice to finally just take the back seat and enjoy watching my family enjoy each other. Can't wait for Emma to get home so we can let her in on the fun!
Dr. Mindy
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
diabetes and parenting
Ugh. I feel really yucky today. I have some sort of virus that has made me feel nauseated. No vomiting, nothing so bad as to not go to work, but just REALLY fatigued and mildly nauseous. It started Sunday, and I haven't been able to recover. Maybe it was the chicken shit exposure??? Maybe not.
Honestly, I was beginning to become afraid that I was starting to get sick again. I feel like I did when I was really sick except that my brain fog isn't there. I told Phil last night that I don't think I could handle feeling like that again EVER in my life. I spoke with a friend today, though, that is feeling the same way, as is her husband, as is one of my nurses, so I guess it's just viral.
Anyhow, Emma's been a little under the weather, too. She has been running pretty high - high enough that I kept her home yesterday to keep an eye on her ketones and manage her a little more carefully. So, she's been feeling under the weather, as have I, and her sugars are crazy, so she is and I am a little emotional. At about 9:30 last night, she was having trouble sleeping, so she got out of bed to go to the bathroom, and her pump fell out of the pump pack and ripped out of her skin. I told her, "No problem, just go get your changing kit and change it." She went downstairs and got it, then came upstairs to change. Mind you, she had just changed twice in two days because her sugars have been so high.
(Let me take a minute here to fill those of you who don't know what I'm talking about in on what my daughter has been doing by herself since she was 7. She fills a vial with insulin, puts it in the pump, programs the pump to give it, and then injects the pump site into her skin, withdraws the needle, and leaves the cannula in her skin. The needle is 6mm long. She does it all herself. She's amazing. She also checks her sugar about 7-8 times a day. There's another thing that she does on her own that is worse. She puts her sensor in. The needle for the sensor is about 1.2 inches long and a bigger caliber than the pump needle. It hurts. BAD. The sensor checks her sugar every couple of seconds and gives us a real time reading. It's great, but it falls out a lot, beeps ALL the time, and is very painful to insert and wear. We don't use it all the time, just when her control goes crazy or when she's staying with other people. I have a 25 year old patient who won't use his sensor because "It hurts too much". Puss.)
So anyhow, Emma got her pump changing stuff and came back upstairs. When she went to change it, the needle was bent. So, I said, "OK, go back downstarirs and get another set." She did. She changed her pump, then she came back in my room and started to just BAWL. She said, "Mommy, I HATE being diabetic. It's just not fair!" She's right. It sucks. She handles it well 99.9 percent of the time, and has even said that she doesn't know what she'd do if there was a cure, because she defines herself as "Emma, the kid with diabetes." But sometimes, the frustration just gets the better of her.
Emma is a tween. She is starting to get stinky and some hair and some boobage. (oh, gawd, she'd be so mad if she knew I was writing this.) She doesn't like to wear her sensor at school because when it beeps, the other kids notice and tell her to check her sugar. She KNOWS she feels better when she wears it, but she doesn't like the fact that it calls more attention to her than she wants. She has taken to not checking her sugar as often as she should because she doesn't like the attention that it draws. I think she also has "diabetes burnout" - very common in kids that have had it for a long time. She doesn't check because she just wants it to go away. Emma is intelligent and she has a better handle on this than most kids her age. She just gets frustrated sometimes. So do I.
I held her for an hour last night and let her cry. I told her that it's OK to sometimes feel sorry for herself. I told her that I don't feel sorry for her, but that's not a bad thing. I told her that I feel sorry for people that aren't strong enough to handle the disease. I also feel sorry for people who have diseases that can't be treated, but I don't feel sorry for her. I said that I am sorry that she has diabetes, though, and that if I could take it away, I would. I told her that she's strong, brave, beautiful, funny, smart, and not defined by her disease. She cried for a long time and finally fell asleep. It took me much longer. I'm crying now as I write this becuase seeing my child hurt is near impossible for me.
On the flip side of all this is my son. He's a vibrant, VERY active 6 year old. He's aware of Emma's disease and is becoming more cognizant of what it could mean for her. He knows that she can have seizures and that she could end up in the hospital. He's also acutely aware of the attention that she gets.
I had friends as a child that were twins. The brother had leukemia as a child. He got LOTS of attention because of it. Justly so. She did not. She often felt left behind, left out, forgotten. She used to complain to me that she could just disappear and her parents wouldn't know. As an adult, she has become an alcoholic and has, in effect, gotten lost. She lives on the streets and her mother is constantly finding her, trying to help, and losing her again. If that's not a lesson, I don't know what is. It's probably extreme, but it's there, nonetheless.
Last night, Lee wasn't feeling well. He asked if he could sleep with us. We let him, and he fell asleep. When he woke up this morning, I was sleeping with Emma in her bed. He was hurt because I was supposed to sleep with him. It's not like he was being selfish. Unfortunately, this happens a lot to him. We tell the kids that they have to sleep in their own beds, but then Emma's sugar drops and she ends up in bed with us because we're worried she's going to have a seizure. (She has on multiple occasions) When Lee wakes up, she's in bed with us, and he's hurt. He understands, but he's only 6, and it hurts.
On other occasions, we are planning to do something with Lee, but it gets usurped because something comes up with Emma's sugars and we have to leave or reschedule. It's not fair to him, but I don't know how to fix it. We plan "Lee time", and he likes that, but the day to day stuff is a little hard for him to deal with, I think. Even dinner has to wait until Emma checks her sugars. He's a good, loving kid, and he's even cried because he wishes Emma didn't have diabetes, but he still wishes that we could focus on him as much as we do on her.
I didn't have a "normal" kid first, so I don't know how much of this is first child, second child stuff. I don't know what other parents with diabetic kids do. I just know that I wish I could just make it better for both of the kids. Neither of them deserve this and they both handle it so well. I don't want people who read this to be like, "Aw, poor family." It's not like that. On a daily basis, this is just part of life and we all do VERY well with it. Sometimes, it gets the best of us, though, and we melt down a little. That's what today is. I'm sick and I'm tired, and I just feel like blogging about some of it.
So, please, if you read this, don't feel "sorry". Also, don't feel like we sit around all the time and wallow in sorrow. As I tell Emma all the time, "Everyone has something." We all just go through life and deal with what we are dealt, rejoicing in the good, and sometimes getting caught up in the bad. If you do want to do something for Emma, though, please feel free to contact the JDRF. (JDRF.org) The ADA doesn't do any real research on type 1 DM. JDRF focuses on juvenile diabetes. Donate, volunteer, help us find a cure.
Thanks.
Dr. Mindy
Honestly, I was beginning to become afraid that I was starting to get sick again. I feel like I did when I was really sick except that my brain fog isn't there. I told Phil last night that I don't think I could handle feeling like that again EVER in my life. I spoke with a friend today, though, that is feeling the same way, as is her husband, as is one of my nurses, so I guess it's just viral.
Anyhow, Emma's been a little under the weather, too. She has been running pretty high - high enough that I kept her home yesterday to keep an eye on her ketones and manage her a little more carefully. So, she's been feeling under the weather, as have I, and her sugars are crazy, so she is and I am a little emotional. At about 9:30 last night, she was having trouble sleeping, so she got out of bed to go to the bathroom, and her pump fell out of the pump pack and ripped out of her skin. I told her, "No problem, just go get your changing kit and change it." She went downstairs and got it, then came upstairs to change. Mind you, she had just changed twice in two days because her sugars have been so high.
(Let me take a minute here to fill those of you who don't know what I'm talking about in on what my daughter has been doing by herself since she was 7. She fills a vial with insulin, puts it in the pump, programs the pump to give it, and then injects the pump site into her skin, withdraws the needle, and leaves the cannula in her skin. The needle is 6mm long. She does it all herself. She's amazing. She also checks her sugar about 7-8 times a day. There's another thing that she does on her own that is worse. She puts her sensor in. The needle for the sensor is about 1.2 inches long and a bigger caliber than the pump needle. It hurts. BAD. The sensor checks her sugar every couple of seconds and gives us a real time reading. It's great, but it falls out a lot, beeps ALL the time, and is very painful to insert and wear. We don't use it all the time, just when her control goes crazy or when she's staying with other people. I have a 25 year old patient who won't use his sensor because "It hurts too much". Puss.)
So anyhow, Emma got her pump changing stuff and came back upstairs. When she went to change it, the needle was bent. So, I said, "OK, go back downstarirs and get another set." She did. She changed her pump, then she came back in my room and started to just BAWL. She said, "Mommy, I HATE being diabetic. It's just not fair!" She's right. It sucks. She handles it well 99.9 percent of the time, and has even said that she doesn't know what she'd do if there was a cure, because she defines herself as "Emma, the kid with diabetes." But sometimes, the frustration just gets the better of her.
Emma is a tween. She is starting to get stinky and some hair and some boobage. (oh, gawd, she'd be so mad if she knew I was writing this.) She doesn't like to wear her sensor at school because when it beeps, the other kids notice and tell her to check her sugar. She KNOWS she feels better when she wears it, but she doesn't like the fact that it calls more attention to her than she wants. She has taken to not checking her sugar as often as she should because she doesn't like the attention that it draws. I think she also has "diabetes burnout" - very common in kids that have had it for a long time. She doesn't check because she just wants it to go away. Emma is intelligent and she has a better handle on this than most kids her age. She just gets frustrated sometimes. So do I.
I held her for an hour last night and let her cry. I told her that it's OK to sometimes feel sorry for herself. I told her that I don't feel sorry for her, but that's not a bad thing. I told her that I feel sorry for people that aren't strong enough to handle the disease. I also feel sorry for people who have diseases that can't be treated, but I don't feel sorry for her. I said that I am sorry that she has diabetes, though, and that if I could take it away, I would. I told her that she's strong, brave, beautiful, funny, smart, and not defined by her disease. She cried for a long time and finally fell asleep. It took me much longer. I'm crying now as I write this becuase seeing my child hurt is near impossible for me.
On the flip side of all this is my son. He's a vibrant, VERY active 6 year old. He's aware of Emma's disease and is becoming more cognizant of what it could mean for her. He knows that she can have seizures and that she could end up in the hospital. He's also acutely aware of the attention that she gets.
I had friends as a child that were twins. The brother had leukemia as a child. He got LOTS of attention because of it. Justly so. She did not. She often felt left behind, left out, forgotten. She used to complain to me that she could just disappear and her parents wouldn't know. As an adult, she has become an alcoholic and has, in effect, gotten lost. She lives on the streets and her mother is constantly finding her, trying to help, and losing her again. If that's not a lesson, I don't know what is. It's probably extreme, but it's there, nonetheless.
Last night, Lee wasn't feeling well. He asked if he could sleep with us. We let him, and he fell asleep. When he woke up this morning, I was sleeping with Emma in her bed. He was hurt because I was supposed to sleep with him. It's not like he was being selfish. Unfortunately, this happens a lot to him. We tell the kids that they have to sleep in their own beds, but then Emma's sugar drops and she ends up in bed with us because we're worried she's going to have a seizure. (She has on multiple occasions) When Lee wakes up, she's in bed with us, and he's hurt. He understands, but he's only 6, and it hurts.
On other occasions, we are planning to do something with Lee, but it gets usurped because something comes up with Emma's sugars and we have to leave or reschedule. It's not fair to him, but I don't know how to fix it. We plan "Lee time", and he likes that, but the day to day stuff is a little hard for him to deal with, I think. Even dinner has to wait until Emma checks her sugars. He's a good, loving kid, and he's even cried because he wishes Emma didn't have diabetes, but he still wishes that we could focus on him as much as we do on her.
I didn't have a "normal" kid first, so I don't know how much of this is first child, second child stuff. I don't know what other parents with diabetic kids do. I just know that I wish I could just make it better for both of the kids. Neither of them deserve this and they both handle it so well. I don't want people who read this to be like, "Aw, poor family." It's not like that. On a daily basis, this is just part of life and we all do VERY well with it. Sometimes, it gets the best of us, though, and we melt down a little. That's what today is. I'm sick and I'm tired, and I just feel like blogging about some of it.
So, please, if you read this, don't feel "sorry". Also, don't feel like we sit around all the time and wallow in sorrow. As I tell Emma all the time, "Everyone has something." We all just go through life and deal with what we are dealt, rejoicing in the good, and sometimes getting caught up in the bad. If you do want to do something for Emma, though, please feel free to contact the JDRF. (JDRF.org) The ADA doesn't do any real research on type 1 DM. JDRF focuses on juvenile diabetes. Donate, volunteer, help us find a cure.
Thanks.
Dr. Mindy
Saturday, March 12, 2011
True Love and Chicken Tractors
In case anyone was wondering, I really, really, really love my husband.
Really.
Today started as a typical Saturday for us. Of course, I was a little bit slow rising this morning because we had a little celebration last night with some great friends. We have another great friend, who unfortunately lives in Colorado, who got some amazing news yesterday. She was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer last year, and it was a very rare variety. She, by the way, is amazing. After diagnosis, she trained for and ran a marathon. She is in great shape mentally and physically. She had a PET scan this week and found out that her cancer had not grown. They think she's in remission. Truly amazing. She told us to break the diet and drink to her good fortune. So, we did! We're all so very relieved. We took a picture and posted it on facebook of us toasting her with some fine WV vodka! Then, we had an amazing dinner prepared by our friends of macadamia encrusted baramundi (sp?) (an Australian fish), exquisite salad with fruit in it, and a vegetable medley that was out of this world. And wine. Thus the sluggishness this am.
So, anyhow, the day started like any other Saturday. Phil made the kids pancakes. I had my medifast shake and some coffee, then we all piled in the car to go to the office and pick up the cake my mom made for the school carnival today. On the way to the office, we decided to stop by Sears and look at refrigerators. Since we've been doing lean and green, we have found that we need more fridge space for fresh veggies. I wanted to go to Lowe's to look as well, and Phil said, "Well, I need some stuff to make the chicken tractor, so that's cool." Bum, bum, buuuumm.....
Well, we headed off to Lowe's and Phil got some wood. The salesman there I think had smoked a few too many joints in his life, so we just got our wood and left. When we got home, Phil went out to work on his chicken tractor. After a couple of minutes, I went out to see what was up, and he was struggling with two pieces of wood while trying to screw them together. So, a big sigh and a grin, and I said, "Do you need some help?"
Let me explain something. I love my husband, and will do anything for him, but I HATE CHICKENS!!!!!!!! I hate how they smell, how they feel, how they sound. Particularly how they smell, though, ugh. So, the thought of devoting one of my precious days off making a portable chicken house was not really appealing. A chicken tractor, by the way, is just that. It is a chicken house on wheels that can be moved from place to place on your farm so that the chickens can free range without being eaten by coyotes (as ours did when we tried to free range them). Let me also explain that the last time I did a project that involved chicken wire, I swore that I would NEVER again do a project that involves chicken wire. They might as well call it "gouge Mindy's skin into a bloody mess wire." I hate chicken wire almost as much as I hate chickens. Almost.
We spent the day building the chicken tractor - just Phil and I - not speaking much to one another, mostly because I was cussing a lot because I was getting cut up by the chicken wire. We had to be at the school carnival at 3:30 today, so we had a deadline for finishing the thing. I must admit, with Phil and I working on the project, it went faster than expected. It also required thinking from both of us to make it work. We both see everything so differently, that when we came to an impasse with something, we were able to figure it out. We used old wood from under our house for a lot of it, and we found this red lattice thing that used to be something else to use as a door. It has a tarp on it to keep the chickens dry and it has a laying box in it that Phil, Emma, and Sofia (Emma's friend) are currently putting hay in.
At 3:30, we finished hanging the door, and Phil wanted to just put a couple of chickens in to make sure that it's dog proof. We have some dogs that we figured would test it out for us when we were gone. I was trying to expedite matters, so I went to the chicken pen to help Emma catch chickens for the new tractor. As I've mentioned, I hate chickens. I also hate chicken pens. It has been raining here all week. So, I went in the pen in my crocs mammoths (OK, not so smart) and stepped ankle deep in muddy, stinky, sloppy chicken shit. My crocs are ruined. I almost puked. I backed out of the pen (with my 10 year old trying really hard not to laugh), glared at my bemused husband, and said, "That's all the help you will be getting from me today, DEAR." I'm glad they had a good laugh.
I was able to get cleaned up and to the school carnival, albeit a little late. The tractor has 4 chickens in it and they were not dog food when we got home. Can't say I'm happy about that, but I guess it would have made me mad if all that work didn't actually work. The chickens are fed, watered, and hayed. Phil is not able to move much (he did all the nailing - he doesn't trust me with sharp objects unless it's chicken wire). Dinner is waiting to be made - jerk grouper and grilled endive. Girl scout cookies are picked up, and I'm sitting down to write my blog with 3 extra kids in the house.
Just another day in paradise.
And I really, really, really love my husband.
Really.
Dr. Mindy
Really.
Today started as a typical Saturday for us. Of course, I was a little bit slow rising this morning because we had a little celebration last night with some great friends. We have another great friend, who unfortunately lives in Colorado, who got some amazing news yesterday. She was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer last year, and it was a very rare variety. She, by the way, is amazing. After diagnosis, she trained for and ran a marathon. She is in great shape mentally and physically. She had a PET scan this week and found out that her cancer had not grown. They think she's in remission. Truly amazing. She told us to break the diet and drink to her good fortune. So, we did! We're all so very relieved. We took a picture and posted it on facebook of us toasting her with some fine WV vodka! Then, we had an amazing dinner prepared by our friends of macadamia encrusted baramundi (sp?) (an Australian fish), exquisite salad with fruit in it, and a vegetable medley that was out of this world. And wine. Thus the sluggishness this am.
So, anyhow, the day started like any other Saturday. Phil made the kids pancakes. I had my medifast shake and some coffee, then we all piled in the car to go to the office and pick up the cake my mom made for the school carnival today. On the way to the office, we decided to stop by Sears and look at refrigerators. Since we've been doing lean and green, we have found that we need more fridge space for fresh veggies. I wanted to go to Lowe's to look as well, and Phil said, "Well, I need some stuff to make the chicken tractor, so that's cool." Bum, bum, buuuumm.....
Well, we headed off to Lowe's and Phil got some wood. The salesman there I think had smoked a few too many joints in his life, so we just got our wood and left. When we got home, Phil went out to work on his chicken tractor. After a couple of minutes, I went out to see what was up, and he was struggling with two pieces of wood while trying to screw them together. So, a big sigh and a grin, and I said, "Do you need some help?"
Let me explain something. I love my husband, and will do anything for him, but I HATE CHICKENS!!!!!!!! I hate how they smell, how they feel, how they sound. Particularly how they smell, though, ugh. So, the thought of devoting one of my precious days off making a portable chicken house was not really appealing. A chicken tractor, by the way, is just that. It is a chicken house on wheels that can be moved from place to place on your farm so that the chickens can free range without being eaten by coyotes (as ours did when we tried to free range them). Let me also explain that the last time I did a project that involved chicken wire, I swore that I would NEVER again do a project that involves chicken wire. They might as well call it "gouge Mindy's skin into a bloody mess wire." I hate chicken wire almost as much as I hate chickens. Almost.
We spent the day building the chicken tractor - just Phil and I - not speaking much to one another, mostly because I was cussing a lot because I was getting cut up by the chicken wire. We had to be at the school carnival at 3:30 today, so we had a deadline for finishing the thing. I must admit, with Phil and I working on the project, it went faster than expected. It also required thinking from both of us to make it work. We both see everything so differently, that when we came to an impasse with something, we were able to figure it out. We used old wood from under our house for a lot of it, and we found this red lattice thing that used to be something else to use as a door. It has a tarp on it to keep the chickens dry and it has a laying box in it that Phil, Emma, and Sofia (Emma's friend) are currently putting hay in.
At 3:30, we finished hanging the door, and Phil wanted to just put a couple of chickens in to make sure that it's dog proof. We have some dogs that we figured would test it out for us when we were gone. I was trying to expedite matters, so I went to the chicken pen to help Emma catch chickens for the new tractor. As I've mentioned, I hate chickens. I also hate chicken pens. It has been raining here all week. So, I went in the pen in my crocs mammoths (OK, not so smart) and stepped ankle deep in muddy, stinky, sloppy chicken shit. My crocs are ruined. I almost puked. I backed out of the pen (with my 10 year old trying really hard not to laugh), glared at my bemused husband, and said, "That's all the help you will be getting from me today, DEAR." I'm glad they had a good laugh.
I was able to get cleaned up and to the school carnival, albeit a little late. The tractor has 4 chickens in it and they were not dog food when we got home. Can't say I'm happy about that, but I guess it would have made me mad if all that work didn't actually work. The chickens are fed, watered, and hayed. Phil is not able to move much (he did all the nailing - he doesn't trust me with sharp objects unless it's chicken wire). Dinner is waiting to be made - jerk grouper and grilled endive. Girl scout cookies are picked up, and I'm sitting down to write my blog with 3 extra kids in the house.
Just another day in paradise.
And I really, really, really love my husband.
Really.
Dr. Mindy
Thursday, March 10, 2011
I've gone and done it
Thanks to all of the support I've gleaned from my friends, I have made the decision to change the hours of my practice.
Unfortunately, change is always difficult for me and Phil. We shy away from it like slugs to salt. We have been stressing continuously since I changed the calendars.
It's for the better of our family without a doubt, but we feel such a huge responsibility to our patients and our practice....
Of course, right now, I'm listening to Lee sing in the shower and Emma talking smack to the Wii, and I'm really glad we're going to have more time to spend with them.
I haven't written a blog for a while, mainly because I've been killing myself at work, and I'm so exhausted when I get home that I just don't feel like it. I have a lot to say, but haven't had the energy to say it.
Speaking of lack of energy, I told Phil today that if it snows again, I'm going to have to kill myself. (figuratively, don't go calling the cops). I guess I'm not going to be here tomorrow, because they're calling for 8 inches tonight. Of course, it WAS a man calling for 8 inches, so it'll probably be more like 4...
Anyhow, we, in the great state of WV are in the "OMG I'm so over it" state of mind. We're all bitchy, argumentative, touchy, etc... - men and women alike. March is a REALLY hard month. We have had bad, cold, snowy weather since November, and we're done. We get a couple of teasers in March when we can drive with the top down and coats on, and it just makes things worse. Tuesday, it was beautiful and 58 degrees. We had the top down, giggling along to Lee's favorite song, "Supersonic" by DJ Fad, and having a grand old time. Today, it's 25 degrees and snowing. The schizophrenic weather causes MAJOR issues in the general psyche of the community.
My receptionist is experiencing her first March in medicine. I sat her down today and had to discuss with her the very real difficulty of being in medicine this month. I can remember even back to residency and what a horrible month this is. Lots of people die. Lots of people kill themselves. Mostly, we all feel like crap and take it out on others. Patients are MUCH more grumpy. Doctors get more irritated with patients and probably say things we shouldn't. Staff gets irritable. It's just something we have to get through, but it's really hard for newbies. I think if she makes it through March, she'll make it through most anything.
Did I mention that I want to be a teacher? It's probably not any better for teachers in March in this state, though. I'd bet that the kids are just as grumpy and upset.
So, anyhow, my new schedule will start in June: monday, tues, thurs, and fri from 8:30-2 with no lunch. I'll do my paperwork from home when the kids are doing their homework. We got a magic jack so that we can call from home without our number showing up on everyone's caller ID. Wednesday, I'll still see patients till 5, and Phil will leave early. This way the kids have at least one parent home every evening. Hopefully this will give us more time to be parents, coaches, den leaders, etc... and do it well.
Wish us luck - especially with getting through March!! And, thanks for the support in making this decision. Actually, it really helped!
Dr. Mindy
Unfortunately, change is always difficult for me and Phil. We shy away from it like slugs to salt. We have been stressing continuously since I changed the calendars.
It's for the better of our family without a doubt, but we feel such a huge responsibility to our patients and our practice....
Of course, right now, I'm listening to Lee sing in the shower and Emma talking smack to the Wii, and I'm really glad we're going to have more time to spend with them.
I haven't written a blog for a while, mainly because I've been killing myself at work, and I'm so exhausted when I get home that I just don't feel like it. I have a lot to say, but haven't had the energy to say it.
Speaking of lack of energy, I told Phil today that if it snows again, I'm going to have to kill myself. (figuratively, don't go calling the cops). I guess I'm not going to be here tomorrow, because they're calling for 8 inches tonight. Of course, it WAS a man calling for 8 inches, so it'll probably be more like 4...
Anyhow, we, in the great state of WV are in the "OMG I'm so over it" state of mind. We're all bitchy, argumentative, touchy, etc... - men and women alike. March is a REALLY hard month. We have had bad, cold, snowy weather since November, and we're done. We get a couple of teasers in March when we can drive with the top down and coats on, and it just makes things worse. Tuesday, it was beautiful and 58 degrees. We had the top down, giggling along to Lee's favorite song, "Supersonic" by DJ Fad, and having a grand old time. Today, it's 25 degrees and snowing. The schizophrenic weather causes MAJOR issues in the general psyche of the community.
My receptionist is experiencing her first March in medicine. I sat her down today and had to discuss with her the very real difficulty of being in medicine this month. I can remember even back to residency and what a horrible month this is. Lots of people die. Lots of people kill themselves. Mostly, we all feel like crap and take it out on others. Patients are MUCH more grumpy. Doctors get more irritated with patients and probably say things we shouldn't. Staff gets irritable. It's just something we have to get through, but it's really hard for newbies. I think if she makes it through March, she'll make it through most anything.
Did I mention that I want to be a teacher? It's probably not any better for teachers in March in this state, though. I'd bet that the kids are just as grumpy and upset.
So, anyhow, my new schedule will start in June: monday, tues, thurs, and fri from 8:30-2 with no lunch. I'll do my paperwork from home when the kids are doing their homework. We got a magic jack so that we can call from home without our number showing up on everyone's caller ID. Wednesday, I'll still see patients till 5, and Phil will leave early. This way the kids have at least one parent home every evening. Hopefully this will give us more time to be parents, coaches, den leaders, etc... and do it well.
Wish us luck - especially with getting through March!! And, thanks for the support in making this decision. Actually, it really helped!
Dr. Mindy
Sunday, March 6, 2011
back on the horse
Today is Sunday. Day two after having cheated big on the medifast plan. Do I regret it? Not a chance, but MAN, has it been hard to get back on the horse.
All of us who diet know how hard it is to go down that path of, "Well, I already blew it, might as well blow it today again, and make it up tomorrow." I was there yesterday. It doesn't help that I've also got PMS - as I've said before, this is the thwarter of all diets.
The mass influx of carbs and fat that I've withheld from my body for some time did me very wrong. I've got to spend a minute and tell you guys, somewhat graphically, the extent of the feeling bad after that marvelous dinner that we had. Mind you, this is not a testament to the food. It was perfectly prepared, and this is not a case of food poisoning, more like food toxicity of my own doing.
To begin with, we went back to the hotel room that night and Phil almost immediately fell asleep. I stayed up long enough to write my blog (foodie's paradise), then I crawled into bed as well. Phil ended up being awake most of the night because he had severe reflux (caused by the carbs that he ate). I also had reflux, and kept waking myself up snoring. In the morning, we realized what a toxic environment we were in due to the emissions that we had been expelling all night long. Toxic. No other word for it. I had to put my face in a pillow that morning when Phil had his morning constitutional. Yuck. Let's just say that this was not conducive to a romantic morning.
Next, my back was hurting pretty bad, so all the way home I was uncomfortable. Why? Not sure, probably my underlying sensitivity to gluten and brewer's yeast just overall made me fell yucky. When we got home, I exercised for 1/2 hour to try to "make up" for the dinner, but I felt so darn bad that I then ended up spending the rest of the day on the couch.
The other big issue was the cravings. I haven't really had bad cravings since getting established on this diet. In fact, I've commented to a few people that this is one of the reasons I really like medifast. The cravings are minimal and usually only when I have PMS. Yesterday was like doing day one of the diet all over again. I was famished, exhausted, foggy headed, and craving cheeseburgers like nobody's business. In the end, I gave in and had pizza and hot wings for dinner. The slippery slope.....
I went to bed early and had another long night of reflux, nightmares (probably from the rosemary on the pizza), and room clearing emissions. Phil fared better yesterday, but he's having a hard time today. He's been a bit homicidal and wanting food all day long. Again, just another side effect of our WONDERFUL Friday night meal. Right this minute, he's in the basement throwing wood around and I'm staying out of his way.
This brings us up to me today. I woke up this morning fully prepared for the yuckiness ahead, so it was a bit easier. I've stuck with the diet today and even spent 40 minutes on the recumbent bike. I am preparing dinner tonight for some friends who are on weight watchers, so I have made a scrumptious menu that fits within both of our lifestyles:
1. appetizer of veggies and "point free" dip - take a jar of roasted red peppers (in brine, not oil), a block of low fat cream cheese (the recipe calls for fat free, but this has more carbs, and since both of the programs now are focusing on low carb, my guess is that WW would now support the LF, not the FF versions of things.), 1/2 container of LF sour cream, a handful of basil, and a tablespoon or so of garlic. Put in food processor and blend for a while, then dip veggies in it. It's SOOOO good and not an excursion from WW. It's a little excursion from medifast, so I'll not partake too much in it.
2. main course of tuna Oscar (tuna steaks seasoned with salt and lemon pepper, served rare (of course) topped with sauteed crab meat and a tablespoon of hollindaise sauce (1 point on WW per tablespoon) and asparagus spears.
3. Side dish of spaghetti squash with basil and a small amount of garlic olive oil.
4. For dessert, Phil and I will have medifast soft serve and probably offer our guests some chocolate (high quality dark chocolate satisfies the sweet tooth and is quite low in carbs and calories. It also is rich, so you just need a little bit.)
We'll have some wine, probably, because it is my house, and then herbal tea with dessert.
I'm still feeling kind of run down and sluggish after this weekend, but I'm excited to be back on the program again. I can't even express how hard it was to stare down the belly of limitation and agree to start it once again. It helped that I tried on some clothes this weekend in sizes that I never thought I'd ever even consider again. It's the results that keep me coming back.
On another note, I want to send kudos out to our great friend who is also going down this road with us. He has stuck with the plan so faithfully that he makes me feel pretty small sometimes. He went with his mother, and his brother and his family to his FAVORITE restaurant this weekend for his mom's birthday. This restaurant is known for having some of the best Italian food in the region. Their lasagna is stuff wars are fought over. He went to the restaurant and ordered a bowl of minestrone and a grilled chicken salad. The rest of the table ate pasta and dessert, and he stuck with the program. He's an inspiration. When we discussed this, he told me that he KNEW how hard it would be for him to get back on the horse, and he chose to not have that kind of issue when he got home. I'm in awe, and I'm very proud of him. Those of you that know him, pat him on the back. Those that don't, just know I'm a better person for being his friend. Hat's off to you, my friend! (And, that capsacian is here for you - wherever you may want in. ;-) )
So, here's to a lesson I learned as a young person from my best friend through grade and middle schools, Beth McFadin - get back on that horse now or you never will!! If you're dieting and you fall off, don't go down the road of self destruction and self deception. Just get back on and you'll be happy you did!
Dr. Mindy
All of us who diet know how hard it is to go down that path of, "Well, I already blew it, might as well blow it today again, and make it up tomorrow." I was there yesterday. It doesn't help that I've also got PMS - as I've said before, this is the thwarter of all diets.
The mass influx of carbs and fat that I've withheld from my body for some time did me very wrong. I've got to spend a minute and tell you guys, somewhat graphically, the extent of the feeling bad after that marvelous dinner that we had. Mind you, this is not a testament to the food. It was perfectly prepared, and this is not a case of food poisoning, more like food toxicity of my own doing.
To begin with, we went back to the hotel room that night and Phil almost immediately fell asleep. I stayed up long enough to write my blog (foodie's paradise), then I crawled into bed as well. Phil ended up being awake most of the night because he had severe reflux (caused by the carbs that he ate). I also had reflux, and kept waking myself up snoring. In the morning, we realized what a toxic environment we were in due to the emissions that we had been expelling all night long. Toxic. No other word for it. I had to put my face in a pillow that morning when Phil had his morning constitutional. Yuck. Let's just say that this was not conducive to a romantic morning.
Next, my back was hurting pretty bad, so all the way home I was uncomfortable. Why? Not sure, probably my underlying sensitivity to gluten and brewer's yeast just overall made me fell yucky. When we got home, I exercised for 1/2 hour to try to "make up" for the dinner, but I felt so darn bad that I then ended up spending the rest of the day on the couch.
The other big issue was the cravings. I haven't really had bad cravings since getting established on this diet. In fact, I've commented to a few people that this is one of the reasons I really like medifast. The cravings are minimal and usually only when I have PMS. Yesterday was like doing day one of the diet all over again. I was famished, exhausted, foggy headed, and craving cheeseburgers like nobody's business. In the end, I gave in and had pizza and hot wings for dinner. The slippery slope.....
I went to bed early and had another long night of reflux, nightmares (probably from the rosemary on the pizza), and room clearing emissions. Phil fared better yesterday, but he's having a hard time today. He's been a bit homicidal and wanting food all day long. Again, just another side effect of our WONDERFUL Friday night meal. Right this minute, he's in the basement throwing wood around and I'm staying out of his way.
This brings us up to me today. I woke up this morning fully prepared for the yuckiness ahead, so it was a bit easier. I've stuck with the diet today and even spent 40 minutes on the recumbent bike. I am preparing dinner tonight for some friends who are on weight watchers, so I have made a scrumptious menu that fits within both of our lifestyles:
1. appetizer of veggies and "point free" dip - take a jar of roasted red peppers (in brine, not oil), a block of low fat cream cheese (the recipe calls for fat free, but this has more carbs, and since both of the programs now are focusing on low carb, my guess is that WW would now support the LF, not the FF versions of things.), 1/2 container of LF sour cream, a handful of basil, and a tablespoon or so of garlic. Put in food processor and blend for a while, then dip veggies in it. It's SOOOO good and not an excursion from WW. It's a little excursion from medifast, so I'll not partake too much in it.
2. main course of tuna Oscar (tuna steaks seasoned with salt and lemon pepper, served rare (of course) topped with sauteed crab meat and a tablespoon of hollindaise sauce (1 point on WW per tablespoon) and asparagus spears.
3. Side dish of spaghetti squash with basil and a small amount of garlic olive oil.
4. For dessert, Phil and I will have medifast soft serve and probably offer our guests some chocolate (high quality dark chocolate satisfies the sweet tooth and is quite low in carbs and calories. It also is rich, so you just need a little bit.)
We'll have some wine, probably, because it is my house, and then herbal tea with dessert.
I'm still feeling kind of run down and sluggish after this weekend, but I'm excited to be back on the program again. I can't even express how hard it was to stare down the belly of limitation and agree to start it once again. It helped that I tried on some clothes this weekend in sizes that I never thought I'd ever even consider again. It's the results that keep me coming back.
On another note, I want to send kudos out to our great friend who is also going down this road with us. He has stuck with the plan so faithfully that he makes me feel pretty small sometimes. He went with his mother, and his brother and his family to his FAVORITE restaurant this weekend for his mom's birthday. This restaurant is known for having some of the best Italian food in the region. Their lasagna is stuff wars are fought over. He went to the restaurant and ordered a bowl of minestrone and a grilled chicken salad. The rest of the table ate pasta and dessert, and he stuck with the program. He's an inspiration. When we discussed this, he told me that he KNEW how hard it would be for him to get back on the horse, and he chose to not have that kind of issue when he got home. I'm in awe, and I'm very proud of him. Those of you that know him, pat him on the back. Those that don't, just know I'm a better person for being his friend. Hat's off to you, my friend! (And, that capsacian is here for you - wherever you may want in. ;-) )
So, here's to a lesson I learned as a young person from my best friend through grade and middle schools, Beth McFadin - get back on that horse now or you never will!! If you're dieting and you fall off, don't go down the road of self destruction and self deception. Just get back on and you'll be happy you did!
Dr. Mindy
Friday, March 4, 2011
Madeleines on date night - a foodie's paradise.
DON'T read this if you're really trying hard to stay on your diet!!!
OK, we cheated in a BIG way, but not as big as we used to, honestly, and I have to tell you guys about the BEST dining experience I've had in a really long time.
Phil and I decided to try to make up our date night since the last one we had ended up with Phil in the hotel bed with shaking chills and a fever of 102. We farmed the kids off to willing victims, I mean friends, (thanks guys!) and headed to Morgantown.
The evening started with a hitch, as we had wanted to get a shuttle or cab to high street so we could go clubbing afterwards, but the taxi never showed up, so we ended up late for our dinner reservations.
No problem! The hostess at Madeleine's on High Street was amazing. She sat us with no issues and our waitress, Melissa, was very patient with us while we were kind of awed by the menu. As you guys know, we've been medifasting for two months with only the very occasional diversions. None have been whole hog diversions (excuse the pun), so we were kind of overwhelmed. The menu was truly amazing, but as many foodies that read this blog know, often, the more flowery the description, the less likely the food is good. Melissa was very informative, and led us to good decisions about our meals. I was really leaning toward this huge pasta dish, but she told me (very astutely) that given that I'd been on a very limited diet for 2 months, the pasta dish might be too heavy and I wouldn't enjoy it as much as some of the other items on the menu. Awesome. I was impressed.
So, here goes...
Starters:
Phil ordered buttermilk battered fried oysters served with traditional tartar and cocktail sauce. They were amazing, delicate, not greasy. You could really taste the oyster. So good, but NOTHING compared to what I ordered...
I had an organic (local grown) rabbit turine. (sp?) This is how it goes - bits of the rabbit meat are mixed with onions, peppers, celery, and some binding agents. It's laid in a base of a gelled tomato base (sounds weird, but so good) then wrapped around a tenderloin of the rabbit and set. It was served with marmalade-d shallots, a creamy sauce, and a salad of greens with white beans and bits of bacon. The salad tasted like bean with bacon soup with greens in it. Believe me - that's good. I can't think of another dish that I've ever had that was that good.
For mid-course, Phil had broccoli cheese soup. Sounds plebeian, right? Not a chance. He started with a bacon base and it only got better. Most of us are used to thick, cheesy, goopy broccoli cheese soup. Not that I dislike that, I'm a big fan of the goopy stuff, but this was exquisite. It was light, flavorful, smoky goodness.
I had a salad of mixed greens, herbed goat cheese, crispy fried onions, and truffle dressing. OMG - so freakin good. I can't even tell you.
For dinner, Phil ordered the 18 oz bone in rib eye with asparagus and mashed potatoes. It was seasoned (gasp!) and cooked to perfection. He didn't eat the potatoes, because instead, we ordered fresh cut fries with pumpkin aioli, smoked ketchup, and a mayonnaise dip. I didn't know that smoked ketchup and pumpkin aioli would be a good combination, but I couldn't stop eating it. It was smoky, tangy, and sweet, and the fries were perfectly cooked.
I got a potato and goat cheese roulade. I know, no meat - WTF??? It was amazing. It was thinly sliced potatoes wrapped around goat cheese, zucchini, artichoke hearts, arugula, and quinoa with a tangy tomato type sauce on the side. It was heavenly. I am not a huge fan of non meat dishes, but the waitress told me it was good and would sit better than the amazing looking pasta. She was absolutely right.
We were planning on going to BW3s for trivia afterwards, but by this time, we'd decided that we were not going to make it because we were starting to feel really full and sleepy. When Melissa came by and told us the desserts, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. My FAVORITE dessert in the world is a flourless chocolate tort (sp?). I LOVE them. I search them out. Well, guess what? That was the first dessert listed. Honestly, I think it had a mocha sauce and home made whipped cream, but I'm not sure. It was amazing!! Honestly, the best I've ever had. Dense, but not too dense. Rich, but with a tiny bitterness to take the edge off. The mocha sauce was divine.
Phil had crepes with lemon creme and chocolate sauce. I don't know about those - I was lost in mine.
Topped off with some excellent wine and decaf coffee - couldn't have been a better dinner if we'd planned it ourselves.
We were honored to have the chef, Brian Wallace, came out to make sure we enjoyed dinner. He told us he'd trained at Fairmont State and then at the Greenbrier. He was very personable and proud of his work.
If anyone is in Morgantown and looking for a place to eat - check it out - it's across the street from the Hotel Morgan on High Street.
As for the diet, tomorrow is another day. We're starting back on medifast in the AM. We're also planning to do some vigorous exercise tomorrow to try to make up for the meal tonight. Everything has it's price, and that's the price we've got to pay for this meal. Bring it on, I'll pay it over and over. I told the chef and the waitress to look for us again - just not for a couple of months. We can only do this once in a great while and still stick with our eating (and financial) program. Hopefully, they'll remember the goofy couple who just about had a forgasm (food orgasm) in the front window of the restaurant!
As for the rest of our date, lets just say that we usually plan on the fact that we won't be able to do anything AFTER dinner, so we plan accordingly... :-)
Have a great night, friends, and tune in Sunday for our lean and green rendition of tuna oscar ala Phil and Mindy. We're having some friends over for dinner, and are planning this plus asparagus and green salad with fig balsamic for dinner. Back to the program, but still living the foodie lifestyle!
Dr. Mindy
OK, we cheated in a BIG way, but not as big as we used to, honestly, and I have to tell you guys about the BEST dining experience I've had in a really long time.
Phil and I decided to try to make up our date night since the last one we had ended up with Phil in the hotel bed with shaking chills and a fever of 102. We farmed the kids off to willing victims, I mean friends, (thanks guys!) and headed to Morgantown.
The evening started with a hitch, as we had wanted to get a shuttle or cab to high street so we could go clubbing afterwards, but the taxi never showed up, so we ended up late for our dinner reservations.
No problem! The hostess at Madeleine's on High Street was amazing. She sat us with no issues and our waitress, Melissa, was very patient with us while we were kind of awed by the menu. As you guys know, we've been medifasting for two months with only the very occasional diversions. None have been whole hog diversions (excuse the pun), so we were kind of overwhelmed. The menu was truly amazing, but as many foodies that read this blog know, often, the more flowery the description, the less likely the food is good. Melissa was very informative, and led us to good decisions about our meals. I was really leaning toward this huge pasta dish, but she told me (very astutely) that given that I'd been on a very limited diet for 2 months, the pasta dish might be too heavy and I wouldn't enjoy it as much as some of the other items on the menu. Awesome. I was impressed.
So, here goes...
Starters:
Phil ordered buttermilk battered fried oysters served with traditional tartar and cocktail sauce. They were amazing, delicate, not greasy. You could really taste the oyster. So good, but NOTHING compared to what I ordered...
I had an organic (local grown) rabbit turine. (sp?) This is how it goes - bits of the rabbit meat are mixed with onions, peppers, celery, and some binding agents. It's laid in a base of a gelled tomato base (sounds weird, but so good) then wrapped around a tenderloin of the rabbit and set. It was served with marmalade-d shallots, a creamy sauce, and a salad of greens with white beans and bits of bacon. The salad tasted like bean with bacon soup with greens in it. Believe me - that's good. I can't think of another dish that I've ever had that was that good.
For mid-course, Phil had broccoli cheese soup. Sounds plebeian, right? Not a chance. He started with a bacon base and it only got better. Most of us are used to thick, cheesy, goopy broccoli cheese soup. Not that I dislike that, I'm a big fan of the goopy stuff, but this was exquisite. It was light, flavorful, smoky goodness.
I had a salad of mixed greens, herbed goat cheese, crispy fried onions, and truffle dressing. OMG - so freakin good. I can't even tell you.
For dinner, Phil ordered the 18 oz bone in rib eye with asparagus and mashed potatoes. It was seasoned (gasp!) and cooked to perfection. He didn't eat the potatoes, because instead, we ordered fresh cut fries with pumpkin aioli, smoked ketchup, and a mayonnaise dip. I didn't know that smoked ketchup and pumpkin aioli would be a good combination, but I couldn't stop eating it. It was smoky, tangy, and sweet, and the fries were perfectly cooked.
I got a potato and goat cheese roulade. I know, no meat - WTF??? It was amazing. It was thinly sliced potatoes wrapped around goat cheese, zucchini, artichoke hearts, arugula, and quinoa with a tangy tomato type sauce on the side. It was heavenly. I am not a huge fan of non meat dishes, but the waitress told me it was good and would sit better than the amazing looking pasta. She was absolutely right.
We were planning on going to BW3s for trivia afterwards, but by this time, we'd decided that we were not going to make it because we were starting to feel really full and sleepy. When Melissa came by and told us the desserts, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. My FAVORITE dessert in the world is a flourless chocolate tort (sp?). I LOVE them. I search them out. Well, guess what? That was the first dessert listed. Honestly, I think it had a mocha sauce and home made whipped cream, but I'm not sure. It was amazing!! Honestly, the best I've ever had. Dense, but not too dense. Rich, but with a tiny bitterness to take the edge off. The mocha sauce was divine.
Phil had crepes with lemon creme and chocolate sauce. I don't know about those - I was lost in mine.
Topped off with some excellent wine and decaf coffee - couldn't have been a better dinner if we'd planned it ourselves.
We were honored to have the chef, Brian Wallace, came out to make sure we enjoyed dinner. He told us he'd trained at Fairmont State and then at the Greenbrier. He was very personable and proud of his work.
If anyone is in Morgantown and looking for a place to eat - check it out - it's across the street from the Hotel Morgan on High Street.
As for the diet, tomorrow is another day. We're starting back on medifast in the AM. We're also planning to do some vigorous exercise tomorrow to try to make up for the meal tonight. Everything has it's price, and that's the price we've got to pay for this meal. Bring it on, I'll pay it over and over. I told the chef and the waitress to look for us again - just not for a couple of months. We can only do this once in a great while and still stick with our eating (and financial) program. Hopefully, they'll remember the goofy couple who just about had a forgasm (food orgasm) in the front window of the restaurant!
As for the rest of our date, lets just say that we usually plan on the fact that we won't be able to do anything AFTER dinner, so we plan accordingly... :-)
Have a great night, friends, and tune in Sunday for our lean and green rendition of tuna oscar ala Phil and Mindy. We're having some friends over for dinner, and are planning this plus asparagus and green salad with fig balsamic for dinner. Back to the program, but still living the foodie lifestyle!
Dr. Mindy
Thursday, March 3, 2011
time management
Because of multiple meetings this week, and some scheduling snafus, I have been able to pick my kids up at school three of four days this week.
I have been in a better mood this week than I've been in a LONG time.
Connection?
I called Phil this afternoon and told him that I want to change my schedule. I'd really like to work 8:30-2:00 - through lunch - 6.5 hours of seeing patients daily - so that I can pick my kids up at school, help them with their homework, coach their teams, and be a den/pack leader in a more efficient and effective way. I think that some people will have a hard time with that because they want to be able to come after school, though. Maybe one day a week I could work later. I don't know. All I know is that being a mother is more important to me than just about anything, and I've been able to do it the way I think it should be done this week. I have been so happy picking the kids up, working on homework, listening to them practice piano, making dinner... Oh, the dilemna.
I pride myself on being pretty good at time management. Like most women, I can usually juggle many tasks at once. Unfortunately, like juggling, if I get a little out of sync, the whole thing comes crashing down. I know that last fall, I coached a soccer team, and we were very busy at the office. I had a really hard time with getting to practice, and I was not as good at scheduling things as I'd like to be. I don't want to do a bad job because it's the kid's experience that suffers, but I keep getting asked to do things. People tell me to just say no, but that's easier said than done. In fact, I have said no, and I've ended up with a team/troop/pack, anyways. It happened this year with Sunday school. I told them that I wouldn't do it anymore because I just don't have enough time to prepare and do a good job. Plus, we go out of town a lot. They kept calling and I said I'd sub if they needed someone and I was in town. I showed up on the first day when they introduced everyone, and they said, "Oh, Mindy, these 8th and 9th graders don't have a teacher - would you be so kind..." Pinned like a butterfly on a posterboard.
I really enjoy the teaching, coaching thing, too, though, so it's not entirely altruistic. I enjoy feeling like I'm making a difference in a kid's life. I also very acutely realize that the time is not far off when my kids won't want me involved in what they do, so I'm trying to take advantage of it when I can. I can't tell you how many times I've had widows, parents who've survived the death of a child, children who've survived the death of a parent, etc., who tell me, "live when you can - enjoy the ones you love when you can, becuase you never know if they'll be there tomorrow." EVERY DAY I hear this, and eventually you take it to heart.
Yes, I could work more hours and make our business more profitable. Yes, I could go work for someone else and make a lot more money. Yes, I could concentrate on my bottom line every day. But, what would I be sacrificing? Maybe a whole lot more than I'm willing to.
I'm not knocking people who are doing things differently, AT ALL. I'm just saying, I don't think it's for me. I need to be "mommy" more than I need to be business owner, doctor. I hope that my patients will understand if I do change my hours a little bit. If I work through lunch, I'll be working the same number of total hours, but getting out earlier. I hope my staff understands, too, and agrees to stagger their lunches when and if I decide to do it.
I'd be great if I could find an NP who wants to work part time...any takers out there??? I've been looking for some time. I have enough volume for a FT mid level, but not enough space. If you know anyone who is looking, send them my way. Maybe we could alternate afternoons or something. It's a great place to work as long as our computers are up and our phones are working.
A girl that I used to know and really look up to long ago recently contacted me via facebook. She had gone to undergraduate and medical school. When she was in FP residency, she realized that she just didn't like being a doctor, so she quit and went back to college. Today she is a teacher. She has lots of time with her kids because her hours and vacation are the same as theirs. I must admit that I envy her decision. I have wanted to go back to school and get trained as a Montessori instructor and maybe help to expand the Montessori here to include elementary school instead of just preschool. Unfortunately, I'm in so much debt from med school and the business right now, that I'll be working until I'm 80 to pay it off - especially if I cut back some. Ah, well, maybe when I'm old and gray... Don't misunderstand, I usually like being a doctor quite a lot. I get to educate on a different playing field, and that's very gratifying. I just wish my hours gave me more kid time.
My job is a little better now, by the way, becuase, (wait for it) we finally have computers, phones, and faxes all working AT THE SAME TIME!!! I think someone might have to pinch me soon, or at least alert me when the 4 horsemen appear, because I think this is another sign of the apocolypse.
I think that's enough for tonight. I have to go make my lean and green dinner. I ordered some roasted chicken nuggets from Schwan's. I intend to heat them up, then dip them in hot wing sauce. We'll have a garden salad with lots of fresh veggies with it and some spray blue cheese flavored vinegarette to top it off. Sounds good. The kids will have the same but with ketchup and ranch and probably some cheeze its for carbs.
Have a good one everyone, and give your kids a BIG hug!
Dr. Mindy
I have been in a better mood this week than I've been in a LONG time.
Connection?
I called Phil this afternoon and told him that I want to change my schedule. I'd really like to work 8:30-2:00 - through lunch - 6.5 hours of seeing patients daily - so that I can pick my kids up at school, help them with their homework, coach their teams, and be a den/pack leader in a more efficient and effective way. I think that some people will have a hard time with that because they want to be able to come after school, though. Maybe one day a week I could work later. I don't know. All I know is that being a mother is more important to me than just about anything, and I've been able to do it the way I think it should be done this week. I have been so happy picking the kids up, working on homework, listening to them practice piano, making dinner... Oh, the dilemna.
I pride myself on being pretty good at time management. Like most women, I can usually juggle many tasks at once. Unfortunately, like juggling, if I get a little out of sync, the whole thing comes crashing down. I know that last fall, I coached a soccer team, and we were very busy at the office. I had a really hard time with getting to practice, and I was not as good at scheduling things as I'd like to be. I don't want to do a bad job because it's the kid's experience that suffers, but I keep getting asked to do things. People tell me to just say no, but that's easier said than done. In fact, I have said no, and I've ended up with a team/troop/pack, anyways. It happened this year with Sunday school. I told them that I wouldn't do it anymore because I just don't have enough time to prepare and do a good job. Plus, we go out of town a lot. They kept calling and I said I'd sub if they needed someone and I was in town. I showed up on the first day when they introduced everyone, and they said, "Oh, Mindy, these 8th and 9th graders don't have a teacher - would you be so kind..." Pinned like a butterfly on a posterboard.
I really enjoy the teaching, coaching thing, too, though, so it's not entirely altruistic. I enjoy feeling like I'm making a difference in a kid's life. I also very acutely realize that the time is not far off when my kids won't want me involved in what they do, so I'm trying to take advantage of it when I can. I can't tell you how many times I've had widows, parents who've survived the death of a child, children who've survived the death of a parent, etc., who tell me, "live when you can - enjoy the ones you love when you can, becuase you never know if they'll be there tomorrow." EVERY DAY I hear this, and eventually you take it to heart.
Yes, I could work more hours and make our business more profitable. Yes, I could go work for someone else and make a lot more money. Yes, I could concentrate on my bottom line every day. But, what would I be sacrificing? Maybe a whole lot more than I'm willing to.
I'm not knocking people who are doing things differently, AT ALL. I'm just saying, I don't think it's for me. I need to be "mommy" more than I need to be business owner, doctor. I hope that my patients will understand if I do change my hours a little bit. If I work through lunch, I'll be working the same number of total hours, but getting out earlier. I hope my staff understands, too, and agrees to stagger their lunches when and if I decide to do it.
I'd be great if I could find an NP who wants to work part time...any takers out there??? I've been looking for some time. I have enough volume for a FT mid level, but not enough space. If you know anyone who is looking, send them my way. Maybe we could alternate afternoons or something. It's a great place to work as long as our computers are up and our phones are working.
A girl that I used to know and really look up to long ago recently contacted me via facebook. She had gone to undergraduate and medical school. When she was in FP residency, she realized that she just didn't like being a doctor, so she quit and went back to college. Today she is a teacher. She has lots of time with her kids because her hours and vacation are the same as theirs. I must admit that I envy her decision. I have wanted to go back to school and get trained as a Montessori instructor and maybe help to expand the Montessori here to include elementary school instead of just preschool. Unfortunately, I'm in so much debt from med school and the business right now, that I'll be working until I'm 80 to pay it off - especially if I cut back some. Ah, well, maybe when I'm old and gray... Don't misunderstand, I usually like being a doctor quite a lot. I get to educate on a different playing field, and that's very gratifying. I just wish my hours gave me more kid time.
My job is a little better now, by the way, becuase, (wait for it) we finally have computers, phones, and faxes all working AT THE SAME TIME!!! I think someone might have to pinch me soon, or at least alert me when the 4 horsemen appear, because I think this is another sign of the apocolypse.
I think that's enough for tonight. I have to go make my lean and green dinner. I ordered some roasted chicken nuggets from Schwan's. I intend to heat them up, then dip them in hot wing sauce. We'll have a garden salad with lots of fresh veggies with it and some spray blue cheese flavored vinegarette to top it off. Sounds good. The kids will have the same but with ketchup and ranch and probably some cheeze its for carbs.
Have a good one everyone, and give your kids a BIG hug!
Dr. Mindy
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